Guest Post

Greetings, I am writing in place of the black and white simp Sharkbutt. I am Puppy the Queen of the Lane. We were missing an integral portion of the history of the large one's acquisition of other mangy rat bastard cats. The Striped relic. He is striped, so she named him Stripe, speaking of simps, she's a big one. But she does bring the opposable thumbs and one really cannot underestimate the value of that. Anyway, she and I were close, shared our thoughts and dreams (of fish) she got me a credit card and well, then she decided I needed the companionship of another cat. She meant well, but really, I hate cats. Despise them. Except for me, of course. So somehow she finagled this small striped menace of a kitten, and in what I found to be an absolute stroke of genius she locked him in the pest bathroom. This, not surprisingly, was on the pretense that it was warmer in there. Warm being a relative term and one that only applies to the ambient temperature in here if it's 90 degrees outdoors and the air conditioning has broken, or if heaven forfend, it were on fire. Alas, though, I digress. Gradually she gave the Striped menace the run of the house where eventually he met with my disapproval and swats, neck grabbing and other forms of domination. We had an uneasy alliance which held together rather well, until the arrival of the black and white simp Sharkbutt. They had both grown upon me quite like a fungus although the large one suggests that perhaps I've mellowed in my old age. To that I simply say; "my ass!"