Holidays

Dear Sharkbutt, Do cats celebrate holidays? If you do, how do you celebrate them? Thanks, F
Dear F, Yep, we celebrate hollerdays, we call them that cuz them a day your foodchik holler at you for tripping her. Mostly our foodchik will buy us snaks and sometimes presents and give us a yogurt snak. Have a happy day, your friend, sharkbutt

My First Letter

Dear Sharkbutt,
I am wondering how cats drink out of bowls, I usually use a glass or a bottle. Do you ever use a glass or a bottle? Your Friend, Z

Dear Z,
Hi, how you? Me good. We drink our water out of bowls by curlying our tongue under and slurping it up. Me can do that out of a glass if it wide enough for my head. Me cannot drink water out of a bottle. It just no work for me.
Have a happy day,
Your Friend,
Sharkbutt

From Sharkbutt

Sometimes people and cats that know me ask me for revice (typist's note - Sharkbutt has idiosyncratic ways to use prefixes and suffixes - re is very popular with him). Hey are you calling me idiot? (tn: no, I'm calling you unique) Me not a sneak. (tn: one of a kind) Ok. Anyway, someone asked me if she needs to study for smelling class - and having to study anything with the senses seems silly. (tn: I think she meant spelling) oh. me a cat, what me know about spelling, me know about smelling.

A Cat Advice Column

Hey Rush Limbaugh has a radio show, in that context a cat with an advice blog makes a certain amount of sense. With the help of his handy typist, Sharkbutt will answer questions and offer musings on life and the way of the world. The handy typist will be providing his musings verbatim and since Sharkbutt speaks in the voice of a toddler boy the grammar, sentence structure and word structure will be fraught with flexibility and the translation will be from Cat to English with periodic lapses into Tibetan, which interestingly enough translates more readily into Cat.