Yay A Question

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi how you? how you teef? Me have a question for you. how do you pick the right fooddude or foodchik?

Fanks,
Ethelbert

Deer Ethelbert,
How you? How you teef? Me teef good. That a excellent question and me talked to foodchik about it because her know stuff about how foodchiks think. When me was a kitten, me and my brothers were res-q'd, me fink that foodchik code for ooooooooooh, cute kittens, lets take care of them so they don't make more that will eat all the food. after e were res-q'd we went to antdoctorkellys office and we growed up there until we were old enough to not need bottles any more and big cats taught us how to use the box and eat and stuff. At the same time foodchik looked around her house and said me fink we need one more cat because it will be funner. So when you have res-q people who know foodchiks or fooddudes that need one more cat then you are in luck. Them come to meet you and you sniff them and if you like them and purr at them and they smelp ok, not mean, then you found you a foodchik or fooddude. Me remember that after foodchik met me and my brothers - my brothers already had fooddudes and chiks coming to get them. Her said to ant doctorkelly can I take him to go? And her said sure. And that my story about how I got this foodchik. Mostly it luck and somebody res-q-ing knowing good fooddudes and chiks.

Her Fink Her Are Funny

Her not funny. Her are a cow and her do moo. Somebody ringed the doorbell, usually when somebody ring the doorbell it either the Blue chick or the Brown dude. Every onst in a while it someone from FedRex. But today it were little kids, me find little kids respicious, foodchik have no candy in the house so her gived kids granola bars and me fink tomatos. Her are not right in her head, who give someon tomatos. Me guess me should be glad they didn't give them any tuney fitch. But then her sneaked into the back yard so her no hear the door ring. And me can see her, her laughing herself sick.

Yay! Bosco!

Hi Sharkbutt!!! It's me, yor frend Bosco!

You anser kwestions real good, so me gots anodder one!

If someone put a ten penny nail in some coked-up cola, and anodder ten penny nail in some cat vomick, which would dissolve the penny firstest? Me say cat vomick, foodchick say coked-up cola. Who iz rite?

Or shood we be asking Villidge Carpenter?

Fanks,

yor frend Bosco!

Hi Bosco my frend!
Fanks for the nudder question, me love them. Me fink it depends if the coked-up cola is diyit, the ten penny nail will resolve in it first. Otherwise me fink probably the cat vomick, but only if it not hairy vomick.

Have a happy day,
sharkbutt

Me Love Another Question

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi, How are you? How are your teeth? My question is how does it work when you lick your foodchiks head to calm her down, and when you talk to her what do you say?
Thanks,
Squonky

Dear Squonky,
How you? How you mom? Me good, me teef good too. How your teef? This is a very good question. Me don't recommend you try licking anyone's head cuz you not a cat and digesting hair will make you fart, not like us, we vomick. Anyway, try petting them head. Me not sure how the technical stuff works, but here why me fink it work. To lick her head foodchik have to be lying down for me to reach it. That relaxing for her. And anybody rubbing her head is relaxing for her, it make her less deranged and stuff. What me say to her is usually, foodchik you home now, you fed cats, you brushed your teef, all you got to do now is breathe. So rihale and rexhale and do it again. After her calmed down and is breathing good, me tell her a story. Her have 2 favorites but her fall asleep once me start telling them. IT good when her fall asleep so I can look inside her mouf to see if her have any fitch her not share wif me. It not that her hog it, but sometimes her hog it.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Finally

Her turned the heat on. Her comed home saw me and big stripey and puppy all piled on the chair, laffed and called us catsicles and said me better whoop up some heat for you. Me going to hide her seeing glasses her a cow and her moo.

COLD COLDNESS

It are cold, it were snowing, it now raining, her still have windows open. Her are resane and crazinuts. Me going to have a chat wif her in a minute. Her need to turn the heats on.

Me Love Questions!

Hi Sharkbutt, how you teef?!? My teef good.

So, dooz this make your foodchik be like a snack, like the snacks that fly around outdoors?

Once, foodchick's old dog, Sundance, caught a hoppy snack. Me werent there but me heard the storee. Foodchick were horrified and say, why you kill tha Eester Bunny? Then she were sad cos Sundance had been so proud and bringed it to her as a giff, and foodchick loved Sundance the way she love me, which is to the moon n back. But she still felt bad for da Eester hoppy snack. Her hart is all mooshy goo.

Yor pal,

Bosco!

Hi Bosco, How you? me glad to hear your teef good. My teef good too.

That a rinteresting question, snaks are kind of like morsels, foodchik would feed lions for a week so her not quite a snak. Her more like a feast.

Me fink if we kilt the easter bunny guy foodchik would cry to, her hart is mooshy goo too. Recept for when her no have one. hahahahaha! Sometimes me call her the world's only living heart donor.

Have a happy day, your friend Sharkbutt

Hmmm, Her Might Be Getting Old?

It were weird, foodchik sleepededed in until after the sun was up today. Her donut usually do that. Me licked her head, and said foodchik are you ok? Her said, yes, sharkbutt, me good. Me asked her why you sleep so much? are you old? Her said, me rexercised alot, when me were at aikido.

That resplains it, me watched aikido wif the foodchik on youktube and them make her fly. Her large. It will be a lot of work for her to fly even a little.

Her Make Me Laugh

Her so simple. Yesterday her was making granola for dinner, and by making it me mean pouring it out of the box and putting some soy milk (YUK!) on it then her got the bright idea to put some cinnamon sugar almonds on it and this are the most best funniest part, her put jalapeno smoked almond on it. her makes the best faces, her looked like her ate a turd. Me laff just finking about it!

How We Roll

Me don't know how it work at your house, because well, me not there. Me here, with foodchik and Puppy and Stripe. Foodchik go someplace most days and come back talking to herself. Sometime her bring food. Sometime her bring shoes. Me like food. Me don't care so much about shoes. Sometime me like clothes, me like foodchik sweatpants very much when her not wearing them. Me may have mentioned before that her keep it cold enough in here to hang meat. Sweatpants are very cozy for sleeping. It like sleeping in a tunnel of warm. This is good.

One day me was sitting on foodchik head and talking to her, her said Sharkbutt you look reesturbed, is somping the matter. Me said foodchik, me just wonder why it gotta be so cold in here all the time. Her said well, you and the big cats have fur and I'm fluffy so me figured we all be more comfortable if it's coolish in here. Me said foodchik, me see me breath in here. It not very comfortable. Her said hmm. Her do moo!

My Mouth Is Smiling and Dancing and Happiness

Why? Because her made us fitch, on the fitch griller fing, outside. And it was nekkid fitch which is happiest for me because it tastiness and remazing. Foochik is the bestest foodchik on the planet. Me love her and fink her the bestest. Talk to you later, me going to do a dance for her!!! Yay! The Fitch Dance!!!!!

Hmmm, Me told her so

Me told foodchik, no ice in the bed, it bad for you teef. And now me right, her have a sneezy cold. Her need to listen to me, I said, foodchik, you keep it cold enough in here to hang meat, you not meat, me and the big cats not meat. And you sleep with ice in the bed, there's going to be trouble and now her sneezing. The sneezing is risturbing, because me sleep right on her belly, then her sneeze so me bounce, then we laugh. It odd, but we make our own fun.

Her Make Me Resane

in my brain. Her doing Aikido again. Me realize that it keep her off the street and so forth but me are utterly mystified at this whole business off ice in the bed. Her have baggies of ice on her front and back. Know how me find this out? Me hopped up to give her some licks on her head and tell her her bedtime story. Yes, her have a favorite, no me not telling you what it is. Anyway. Me hop up and to her chests, what me? cold iceness. It unnatural. Like freezing fitch. Her deranged and we going to have a talk.

Guess What?

Me had a team named after me
Team Sharkb

You can look for it here. I'll even tell you the deal. Foodchik had a granma, granma's are like extra bestest foodchiks. Anyway, foodchik never got to meet this granma cuz her died of breast cancer when foodchik fooddad was just young. So her bothered her friends into walking wif her and them camed back smelping of a lot of different people and help to make money for breast cancer research. So, here's what me fink you should do. Look down, if you see two feet, you ought to find one of these walks and walk in it, or run if you like that. And if when you look down you see two breasts, you should take care of them. Trust me, me know what me talking about

Fanks So Much Sara Pale-end

You no me would rather walk on my lips then criticize democracy and stuff, but these debate peeple make foodchik craziness. Me had to lick her head for a hour to calm her down the other night. Her rant and rave, them people no ever answer questions and knock off the folksy bullshit, me are rellergic to charm. Ok her no say rezactly like that, her used more bad words. A lot more.

So me fink hiding the remoke control will help. Me don't need her any more resane them her are fanks.