Me Love Another Question

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi, How are you? How are your teeth? My question is how does it work when you lick your foodchiks head to calm her down, and when you talk to her what do you say?
Thanks,
Squonky

Dear Squonky,
How you? How you mom? Me good, me teef good too. How your teef? This is a very good question. Me don't recommend you try licking anyone's head cuz you not a cat and digesting hair will make you fart, not like us, we vomick. Anyway, try petting them head. Me not sure how the technical stuff works, but here why me fink it work. To lick her head foodchik have to be lying down for me to reach it. That relaxing for her. And anybody rubbing her head is relaxing for her, it make her less deranged and stuff. What me say to her is usually, foodchik you home now, you fed cats, you brushed your teef, all you got to do now is breathe. So rihale and rexhale and do it again. After her calmed down and is breathing good, me tell her a story. Her have 2 favorites but her fall asleep once me start telling them. IT good when her fall asleep so I can look inside her mouf to see if her have any fitch her not share wif me. It not that her hog it, but sometimes her hog it.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt