More fings from Bosco

deer Sharkbutt, how you teef? me teef good and me frankish for that!

me frankish too for my shayboscosfoodchick and for PIZZA! and for you and your foodchick and for stuff what falls on the floor that i can eet and me frankful for the dish of turkish n gravee and dreshink, i receeved today!

yor frend,

Bosco!

PS--her royal highnesh, Queen Molly also got her own plate!

deer Bosco, me teef great fanks. me glad you frankish for your shayboscosfoodchik, and pizza. and foodchik the cow who moos and me. me lucky to have frind like you. glad you got some turkish n gravees, me got fitch. it makes my mouf smile to just talk about fitch, fitch fitch. me cannot stop saying fitch.

have a happy day, your fiend sharkbutt

Yay! Fren Bosco

deer sharkbutt, once was a mummy, me saw wen my foodchik sleep in front of dishcovery channel, and this mummy, everybodee in aynchint egypt say hi there yur royal dryness cos the mummy hadent had nuffing to drink in like a billin years and so finally this toorist kid in a AC/DC tee shirt reached out and say wake up, ya old fart, and shake the mummy and its nose fall off. me hope you foodchick's nose dont fall off.

yor frend,

Bosco!

deer Bosco, how you? how you teef? me donut fink foodchik nosey could fall off, her breaked it enuf times that if it were going to fall off it would have already. her say and you dam cats will play hawkey wif it and get it lost under the stove. her funny.
have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

Why Me Blog?

Every onst in a while someone ask this question, me answering it again.

Why not?

Wow Her Talk Alot and Never Say Fitch

me wanted to call this Franksgiving, because usually foodchik whack up some franks for us to eet. Then big puppy the evil splained (and splained and splained) to me that it Thanksgiving, where we be thankish for stuff. So me thankish for this

foodchik - her a cow and her moo, but her never gived us crunch food that her did not tasty and say cats me fink we got a good one. And we usually do got a good one.

the big cats - they good company and they resplain fings to me. even though them cows and them moo.

foodchik frens - they help keep foodchik from being too mooey.

me frens - them ask me good questions and help me keep foodchik from being too mooey.

foodchiks fambly - we like them, but them very sneezy peeple.

This Resplains Alot

Sometimes me mention that foodchik keep it cold enuf to hang meat in this houst. Me finally figured out why, me will spare you the graphic details but foodchik started getting nosy bleeds since her turned on the heat, big puppy say it not actually on her just talked dirty to it so her fink her doing somping, me donut no what that means but it sound odd. big puppy are odd. anyway, foodchik nosey bleed, her no notice it until her found it on her shirt. then her say bad word this bad word heat roasted my bad wording nosey from the rinside out bad wordit. so her had to rinch the shirt in coldy water while her tell her nose stop bleeding bad word it. then her have to find a new shirt wif sleeves to go to work. so her comed home and me was licking her head and her said sharkbutt you look resturbed, what the matter? and me said foodchik, me a little rupset about what up wif your nosey. her said sharkbutt donut worry the heat dry my nose up that why we not use too much of it. but they use too much of it at work and that make my nose dry and stuff. me fren jul yukifoodchik telled me to get some vaseline greasy stuff to make it better. me be all right.

so yuki tell you foodchik fanks from me.

Oh Her Simple

Sometimes foodchik rexercise wif me. This means instead of using weights, her use me or the big cats to do curlies. Biceps curlies to a overhead press are my favorite. Them are not big puppies favorite. Her tried to rip foodchik skull open but her no reach. Me laff. Big puppy are mean like a snake.

Suggestion from UB, him a pretty sharp tack.

Hi Sharkbutt,

You and the other cats ought to rub sticks together to create a fire. You can ask for coal from Santa Claus, which can fuel your fire. Once one or two small fires are found by your foodchick, she may turn up the heat. Then again, maybe not.

UB

Hi UB, how you? how you teef?

Me like that idea but me fink we tried that onst before and some tails catched fire. and me fink then her just turned off the heat, her so cheep her squeek.

have a happy day, your friend, sharkbutt

Kestion from Bosco the bestest dog ever

Hi Sharkbutt! How you teef? My teef good.

Do cows drive ottermobiles? Cos me was in Foodchick's ottermobile on the way to the torcher chamber (she call it the vet) and anodder ottermobile acted stoopid and Foodchick goes, "silly cow!" So me wonder now if cows can drive. me thot maybe you wood noe.

yor frend,

Bosco!

Hi Bosco, me teef great fanks. Tho them chattering alot with the cold.

Foodchik are a cow and her moo, and her drive a ottermobile. THat's how her take us to ant doctorkelly. foodchik no call the nodder drivers silly cow. her call them bad words me cannot spelp that end in ucker. her mom fink her a foul moufed relic. me fink that funny.
have a happy day,
your friend, sharkbutt

ps - her making chiken, me hope her no screw it up.

Coldy Coldness

Me not sure why it so cold in here. And her are sprinting around here in her sarong and a tshirt, and it coldy coldness. Me swear me see her breff. Me swear me see mine breff. Me would say her a cow and her moo, but cows wear more clothes me fink.

From Bosco

Sharkbutt, Sharkbutt, speek to me! Me worreed, you not bloggink, and me finkink dat maybe pengwings wif teef attacked you! Pleez say it iznt so!

yor frend,

Bosco!

Deer Bosco,
HI how you? How you teef? you read me story about foodchik and her passwerd? not pengwings got me, and them better not even fink it. It so cold in here me afraid them will move in.

Fanks for worrying about me friend.
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Me Back

Me really wonder about her sometimes, most of the times, her are kinda simple. Her forgetted her password for the reputer, me said, take off the crap lock. Her keep trying and cursing saying really bad fings about the reputer. Her not even say them to big stripey when him peed on her. So then her called the sport peeple on the phome. Them said lady, check the crap lock, so her did and now the reputer back on for us to use.

some time her fun when her call the sport peeple on the phome. Her called them yogurt peeple onst, and her said how mutch past the rexpiration date can me eet this yogurt. sport dude said, we have 10 days built in from the sell by date for you to eet it. Her said, how mutch more can you go besides 10 days? Him says, how old is your yogurt, her said, all kinds of olds, 3 week old, 3 month old, 3 year old. Him says lady (me donut no why him call her lady, trust me, her not) nobody here will ever tells you it ok to eet 3 year old yogurt but if it not moldy looking or smelp bad, you be ok prolly. it just might not be as fresh as you likes it.

Another Mystery Solved By Bosco

OOOOO! Maybe dat why they got no teef, they braked them off trying to eet frozen fitch!!!

Sharkbutt, you rilly anser GOOD!

yor frend,

Bosco!

Deer Bosco,
You rilly smark, me never would have figured out why the penqwings got no teef, them broke them off on the frozey fitch. Speaking of frozey fitch, her got it cold in here today, if we had any fitch here it would be frozey. In fack, me butt is numb, me hope me not getting frozey.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Kestion From Me Friend Bosco

How shmart can pengwings be? They live in a place wer it ish freesink and stays dark for momfs. Plus, dey ish snaks but they donut fly.

yor frend,

Bosco!

PS--plus they no got teef!


Hi Bosco,
How you teef? How you foodchik? Me donut no how smart the pengwings can be, me used to fink them was smart because them lived where the fitch could be frozen wif out them trying. hahahaha.

Have a happy day, your friend, Sharkbutt

Kestion from Bosco

Hi Sharkbutt, how you teef? Me no like penquins much now, they scary like killa clowns. Why peeple think they cute? They creepy!

yor frend,

Bosco!

Hi Bosco, me teef good, fanks, how are yours? Me not sure why peeple think penguings cute, me fink them look like me and me cute. maybe that why?

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

From Me Friend Hermes In HK

Sharkbutt, hi, you can
help me?! Me foodchik's foodchik is here and me foodchik is rinsane!
She walk around talking to herselfs, she says, "What I gonna do wif
dis woman?" Hers foodchik a little crazies but she brung me foodies. I
bit her foodchik tho but she told me, no, Hermes, you gotta be good
boy cuz this woman passagressif and she not gonna conplain but she
gonna keep bringin it up. How I help me foodchick survive visits with
hers foodpeople?


Hi Hermes,
how you? How you teef? Me sorry to hear that your foodchik's foodchik is making your foodchik rinsane. Me asked foodchik what you might could do about that. Her said her always found bourbon very helpful. But here what me fink you should do, sit on her lap and whispery in her hear that we need fitch. And that will cornfuse her and her will stop bringin' fings up. When you foodchik is talking to herselfs, lick her head and whispery in her hears to try bourbon. Me fink that will help, if it not, lemmeno and me will fink up sompin elst.

Goodluck,
yourfriend, sharkbutt

Rain

Me no mind rain too much except it make the snaks stay home. Me like to watch the snaks romp and stomp. Foodchik won't let us out to play wif them or eat them and that are probably better but me would like to play wif them, not eat them so much.

It a quiet day here, me watching foodchik take a nap, her like Puppy the evil, her sleeps with one eye ball open. Puppy the evil say it cuz her all seeing and all knowing, foodchik say it cuz her had spraint her eyelid. Her odd.

Bosco You NOT Believe This

Me asked foodchik about the penguins and her telled me about them buying pagan babies that them never seent so them think the penguins ate the pagan babies. Me fink that why foodchik became a buddhisk, that make her a pagan and if them think her a baby, her will fool them. Her large and me fink her could jack some penguins up.

Yay! Bosco!

Deer Sharkbutt,

me woorried!!!! we are black n white....does that meen that we will gro up to be mean-assed penguins????????????????

yor frend,

Bosco!

PS--me not even Cat Lick, but foodchick was!


Deer Bosco,
Hi friend, how you teef? We not penguins, this how me no, you a dog, me a cat, we got foodchiks, and we are hims and an we not mean asses. Foodchik telled me hims not penguins unless them are wearing drags. Me not quite runderstand what drags are, me fink it has sumping to do wif clothes which me no wear. maybe foodchik will resplain it again. Foodchik say me a good kind of cat lick (cuz me a cat and me lick meself, her fink her funny, her not) her used to be a cat lick. now we buddhists. So no worry, you not a penguing.
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Rinteresting From Uncle Bob

"Penguins are usually found in Catholic Schools. Early on they would make a habit of dressing in black with white trim. If you were a wise guy, they would beat you with a ruler or toss an eraser. Even though food chick dresses in black often, I doubt she is a penguin. I think she is more like a mute cow. She is very flatulent but she does not moo (often)."

Foodchik say it true about the penguins especially the beatings wif a ruler, her said her got them in college even. Them penguins sound mean like snakes to me. Foodchik not so flatulent as her used to be, me fink it's all the green and red shit her drinks.

Question

Harro sharkbutt,

It your friend yuki pappagorgio. How you teef? Mine good. Sorry you foodchicks teef not good.
I wonder why my foodchick judy go somewhere over two hours today. Her come back with puterguy minn and talkie bout llmam. Is he llama and new furry friend for me?

Your friend,

yuki pappagorgio

Hi yuki pappagorgio,
How you? My teef great fanks. how you?

My foodchik went out for a little while a few timeses today, her camed back wif a newspaper one time, and renother time her comed back wif stuff from costco. lots of lettuce, i donut no what that about. her odd. her was talking about the llama too, me donut know who that is, we donut have room for one. Her watching CNNN now that Wolf dude are odd.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

If you got the Fitch bowl, like I recommended, you could catch your own fitch. But then again, your foodchick has a humorous side and she will probably get you piranhas just for the entertainment value.

UB



Deer U Bob,
You are right, her do have a mean streak, her mean like a snake. Yes, her would get piranhas, and Puppy the evil said it would bite off my hoofs and I'd have to get hooks to catch fitch.

You would knoww if her a penguin right? Are her?
Fanks,
your friend Sharkbutt.

A Joke from me Friend Yuki

Harro sharkbutt,

It your friend yuki pappagorgio. I wondering if you like hear joke. Here it go...

Q: What do Penguins have for lunch?
A: Icebergers.

I hope you like joke. It funny talk penguins and stuffs.

Have fun day.

yuki pappagorgio

Hi Yuki,
how you? how you teef? better than foodchiks me fink!
ha! me like your joke.
fanks for writing me and if you have any questions that cool too.
have a happy day,
your friend,
sharkbutt

Guest Post

Greetings, I am writing in place of the black and white simp Sharkbutt. I am Puppy the Queen of the Lane. We were missing an integral portion of the history of the large one's acquisition of other mangy rat bastard cats. The Striped relic. He is striped, so she named him Stripe, speaking of simps, she's a big one. But she does bring the opposable thumbs and one really cannot underestimate the value of that. Anyway, she and I were close, shared our thoughts and dreams (of fish) she got me a credit card and well, then she decided I needed the companionship of another cat. She meant well, but really, I hate cats. Despise them. Except for me, of course. So somehow she finagled this small striped menace of a kitten, and in what I found to be an absolute stroke of genius she locked him in the pest bathroom. This, not surprisingly, was on the pretense that it was warmer in there. Warm being a relative term and one that only applies to the ambient temperature in here if it's 90 degrees outdoors and the air conditioning has broken, or if heaven forfend, it were on fire. Alas, though, I digress. Gradually she gave the Striped menace the run of the house where eventually he met with my disapproval and swats, neck grabbing and other forms of domination. We had an uneasy alliance which held together rather well, until the arrival of the black and white simp Sharkbutt. They had both grown upon me quite like a fungus although the large one suggests that perhaps I've mellowed in my old age. To that I simply say; "my ass!"

Whoa!

Her comed back from somewhere and her face was kind of largeness on one side, her put ice on it and me asked her foodchik is this what you mean by rinflammation? And her said, yes, sharkbutt that kinda what me mean. Me said hmmm, foodchik are you a penquin? Her said no, me a people. Me said darn! Foodchik said, are you disappointed sharkbutt? Me said a little. Her asked why and me said cuz we would have more fitch. Her said hmmm. Then her said sharkbutt, penguins eet a lot of fitch and them catch them themself. Could you catch your own fitch? Hmmm. I guess me need her.

So, Maybe Her Not A Cow

Her do kinda look like them but bigger

Me not worried, me still cute

Her calling me Scarface, and her fink her funny! Her are a cow and her moo!

We Had To Have A Little Chat

Me and the foodchik, her go to someplace called Jim and comeback sweaty. Her drink some water and pretend she can stretchy. Then her put on ice, so me sat down and licked her head and said foodchik we need to talk. Her say Sharkbutt you seem rupset, what you wanna talk abouts? Me said foodchik, what wif the ice, are sompin wrong wif you that you not telling me? Her said sharkbutt, me get rinflammation sometimes and if me ice myself, me donut get it. Her said sharkbutt, rinflammation is what happens when you sprain yourself, strain yourself or mess sumping up. Her donut make mutch sense so me went here.
Wikipedia

It don't say anythin about ice, me think her probably a penguin like that Sarah Pale-end, her just not telling.

Ok, Ok, Already

Puppy the Evil standing on me neck while I do this. Her said I have to tell the story of how she got foodchik. Many years ago when foodchik was much younger and less mooier, her looked around her houst and said me really need a cat here to lively the place up. So her telled her friend C-zersfoodchikdonna, and c-zersfoodchik says, me got cat wif kittens living under me deck, we will find res-q's for the kittens and you take the mom cat. The mom cat was Puppy the Evil. So foodchik when to house of C-zersfoodchik donna, C-zer delocalized now, but him was the biggest dog ever, even bigger than foodchik and her huge. So foodchik and the other foodchik went under the deck to wrangle the catlets, they got Puppy the Evil first and put her in one giant sized crate and then put the little catlets in another giant sized crate. It took a while because them are simple (the foodchiks) and cats even catlets are smart. So P the E went home wif foodchik, and the catlets got them own foodchiks.

My story more rinteresting but Puppy the Evil has taken her hoof off me neck so me happy now.

And Then Sometimes Foodchiks Just Know

Hi Sharkbutt! How you teefs? My teef good.

One day me was in pets stor, and me had to share a liddle crappy cage wif anodder puppy and me stanked besides all that, me had been there for a while and nobodee buyed me. Then a lady camed in and she were looking for a dog wif polka dots cos a pschic foodchik had telled her that her favorite old dog Sundance was worried about a dog wif polka dots and that she shood look for that dog cos that was the dog for her.

Well, she seen me there in my crappy little cage wif me polka dotted legs and she say, let me plz see that puppy there, and they put me in a liddle room wif her and she liked me. She say to dem, give this here puppy a baff, cos he smelp bad, and then me gib you three hunerd n some dolla, and then me take this puppy home.

So they baffed me, and she carried me out to her car and we vrommed to foodchik's house! There were two odder dogs there, one called Queen Molly and the odder one called Alex. Alex were oldish, but Queen Molly and me liked to play, at least after i took a day or two to learn to how to run cos I had nebber been in wide open space before like in foodchik's yard!

My foodchik told me that me were speshul, she cood tell. Even though I piddled on the rug and chewed up some of her books cos me were small and dint know things yet. But now me a star and foodcchik love me more than anything or anybodee!
Me lub foodchick, too, especially wen she makes PIZZA! and gibs me some!

yor frend,

Bosco!

Hi Bosco,
Me glad you teef good. You foodchik good too? Fank you very mutch for telling me your story. Me happy you and you foodchik found each other. Me even glad Big Stripey and Evil Puppy found my foodchik. They kept her warm for me. And I fink even bought her pizza to eat. Or something. Me don't fink foodchik payed any munny for any of us, but her cheep so me not sooprised at all. Her kinda simple too, me was talking to Puppy the Evil cuz we bofe noticed her wearing too different shoes on her back feet. Me asked Puppy the Evil if we should maybe tell her and her said no, lets see if her go out like that. Her didn't yet, but there still time. Her make me laff.
Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt