Fings cats donut really worry about

"Me bark at them til they leave or I get baby gated."
I hate getting baby gated.


To cats baby gates are like hurdles, you know, like the couch, or the foodchik, I donut fink I would like it if I were stuck behind one.

Me Love Questions!

Happee Hollerdays, then, fren Sharkbutt. How u teef? Me teef good.

Hey...what is figgy pooding? Is it like PIZZA! ? Or fitch?


Hi fren Bosco,
Me teef great, fangs. How you? How you food chik? To me figgy pudding looks like wet shiny mulch but me not sure what it tasty like. Sometimes me pretend me a bug and say I'm tastying fings with my feets.

Have a happy day, your friend, Sharkbutt

Oh foodchik, foodchik, foodchik

Me understand that people not so much wif catching their food on the hoof and then eeting it raw. But foodchik so bad at cooking or as her call it "burning stuff" it very scary. Burnt takes all the taste out of it which is risgusting. Me want to tell her, foodchik, sit down somewhere and let me cook. But me a cat, have no thumbs and cannot really reach at a distance that would keep me from getting scorched.

Happy Hollerdays

me call them Happy Hollerdays, because it's the day that foodchik no holler at us.

Sometimes I hides

foodchik has frenz and some of them frenz are kid people, when they come me practice to join the CIA and be a spy. Me like kids they much more interesting than the old slow ones, but them make sudden moves and me startle easy and foodchik say even though them move fast like snacks them not snaks and me not allowed to chase them down. So Medicine chik bringed her kids to visick and them hung out with big Stripey and Puppy D, them seem very nice, Lego dude and Moustache girl. Me were happy to see them but me needed a rest.

Me love questions

Dear Sharkbutt, how you? how you teef? I have a question for you. Why do cats hork so much? thanks, your friend Molleek.

Hi Molleek, HOw you? How you teef? me great, me teef great, fangs. Why cats hork so mutch is a rinteresting question. Some cats, like Puppy the Orange hork because they mean like a snake. Other cats like Stripee the Massive horks because it gives him something to do between watching tv and trying to lick him own head. Mostly cats horks so mutch because we groom ourselves by licking, and fur sticks to our tongues and we eat it, but it not high in fiber so it don't move or digest so much, so it's gotta come up. oh and also, because foodchiks and fooddudes shoes get lonely when them not home and a little hork makes them nice.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
sharkbutt

Perhaps Me Have Mentioned

that foodchik shoots our medicine up her noses and into her hears. So we have a medicine chik now. Her very good at petting and giving Puppy medicine, her a hot festival of skin mess. Puppy not the medicine chik.

Me love questions

Sharkbutt

what does fitch poo smell like?

Evelyn

EVELYN, Hi friend, this great question, and me seent it so long ago me almost forget the answer when foodchik brake the reputer. Her a cow and her moo. Fish poo smelp like water, it taste like water too.

how you? how you teef?

have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

So

where were we? foodchik break the reputer...again!
Dude came to fix, then other dude came to fix, then her uploading pictures and her run her mouf. So that where we at. Today is winter solstice, which means the least sunlighty day of the year. And it rained all day so not a lot of sunlight which makes foodchik cranky and every body cranky when foodchik cranky.

It odd

foodchik always go where fitch live, her never bring back any fitch, though her always smelp of fitch poo. Her very weird. Sometime her happy, sometime her not, all the time her mooey. But lately her so happy me refraid her have a refrigerator full of fitch that her eating when me asleep. Me going to have to sit on her head and talk in her hears to find out what is up.

Me love questions

Sharkbutt,
How you teef?
Today my daughter asked a very good cat question.
How do cats pick their noses?
I dont know what inspired this question. No one in this house certainly ever picks their nose.
Nope. Never.

Evelyn

Hi fren Evelyn,
How you? How you teef? My teef great fangs.
Your daughter is very smart and asks good questions.
Cats donut pick their noses mutch but when them do, they use they tongue because claws too sharp and teef donut reach.
Have a happy day, your fren,
Sharkbutt

PS: FAngs very mutch for asking me questions. I love questions.

Why?

Is foodchik so mooey?

I get this question a lot, so me asked the big cats, and me asked foodchik why her so mooey. Puppy says foodchik so mooey because before we had knownt her, her got hit in the head alot. Me fink her fell on her head because her like that. Stripey says it because her no have a tail and cannot lick her butt. Foodchik just says moo and oink.

Foodchik, We have to talk

Sometimes I sit on foodchik head, it very large so there is enough room for me to sit and talk into her hears. I do this when I concerned about something, her always listen and usually then her say something wise.
So I said foodchik, rememory how you told me that I would be the baby cat until I was 5, now I 7 and I still the baby cat. Did you forget? Or do you not like new baby cats?

Her said, Sharkbutt, I just like you being the baby cat so much that I didn't think we needed a new baby cat. Do you think we need a new baby cat? I said no, foodchik, we donut. And her said that's what me think too.

I happy now.

Me Love questions!

Sharkbuttocks,

How you teef? Mine rock!

Hey listen, Foodchik is right, Halloween is like condoned begging and teenagers just come to the door not even dressed up. Such crapola. I mean if you want to give out candy, go ahead, but I think its silly. Halloween is about scary stuff and spirits and demons and souls and monsters, not the newest Disney Princess costume and a sugar filled plastic pumpkin.

Evelyn

P.S.(Linus says how you teef? His are sore, but he said he is enjoying the tunee fitch juice I give him twice a week.)

Hi Fren Evelyn,
Me great fangs, me teef good too fangs. Where you get tuneefitchjuice to give to Linus from? Do you use a juicer?

Halloween is just weird, the last few years foodchik has been giving out prunes, you no them things that look like dog brains? She thinks she's funny. But she misses the prunes once her give them away with her odd mooey self.

Have a happy day, your fren, sharkbutt.

Foodchik on the warpath

Her made fitch (shhhh, be quiet) big cats donut no. And it just smelped like it would be so tasty in my mouth that I hopped onto the counter to smelp it with my nose and I landed on her avocado and breaked it. Her still yelling.

Oh no me being confusing again.

Sharkbutt

How you teef?
WHAT?
I think I need you to tell me this story again because Why is Stripey being so mean? Why does your butt taste like a snake?? And most scary, why does Foodchik know what your BUTT tastes like?!?!?
My teef are good, but Linus lost a front teef. He not remused, but seems to still eat and poo.
fangs for always answering questions.
Evelyn

Hi fren, Evelyn, Fangs to you for asking me questions. It too hard to be a cat and make all of this stuff up. Stripey not mean, him think him funny. Puppy, she mean. Me not sure why, me fink because her a cow and her moo. Foodchik knows a lot of stuff but her donut no what my butt tasty like. Big Puppy does because when me were a little cat her helped me with that. That waas before her turned mean like a snake. Me sorry to hear that Linus lost a front teef, him so not remused, I know. Glad him still eat and poo. Glad you teef good. That happy,
your fren,
Sharkbutt

It got worse

so yesterday Puppy got pizza stuff spilled on her, then big Stripey stomped on her and said look, I'm a bug and I'm tastying you wif my feet. She growled like her do (her growl like foodchik say moo) then she smacked him in the neck and stepped on him head and say you don't tasty like a bug you tasty like Sharkbutt's butt. Her mean like a snake, even foodchik thinks so.

tomato sauce

Foodchik thinks she can cook, but I got news. That'd be no. Not even close. She spilled cheese and tomato sauce on Puppy (it's best you donut ask) so now Stripey and me call Puppy pizza cat and her totally not remused.

Maybe...

Sharkbutt!

Linus is an old man. So his teef are not the best. He is orange, like Stripey.
I think maybe I'm salty.
Dont cats like salt? Its like kisses except his breath smells like poo a lot so...

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
How you? How you teef? Linus is orange and old like Puppy D, and foodchik too. You prolly salty on you eyes. Cats mostly like salt, but our food is so salty that foodchik eat it instead of popcorn. But it salty so Stripey doesn't forget how to pee. Him simple like a box of hair.
Have a happy day,
your frend,
Sharkbutt

Are Her Kidding Me?

Sharkbutt!

How you? How you foodchik and you teef? Hey listen, whats wrong with saving a little on heat? Doesnt your fur act as a fur coat? And it brings you and the other kitties together! Nice and warm. I like it a little chilly because it makes my kitty, Linus come and lay with us. And he licks under my eyes. I wonder why.

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
I good, my foodchik are a loon. My teef great fangs, how you teef? Nothing wrong wif saving a little on heat, but her keep it at 60 in here in the wintery time with a window opened and freezy cold outside so that not saving a li'l on heat that's just resane. How is Linus? How is him teef? Him prolly lick under your eyes to taste them. Have a happy day, your frend Sharkbutt

This isn't likely to end well

I have perhaps mentioned that foodchik go where fitch live all the time. And her did this morning because that what her do, get up when it the dark time and take her mooey butt to the beach (that one place where fitch live) and take pictures. Well, today her made her espresso coffee stuff that give her personalities and what not, but her forget it on the counter, because her mooey and has the attention span of a grape nut (which are the mooiest food on earth). Me fink me will hide her keys to see her twitch.

Interesting question

Hi fren Sharkbutt. It's me, fren Bosco. How u teef? me teefs gud.

Sometimes me drink lot of wadder frum my bowl all at once, and then me barf. Me tell my foodchick me making the libbing room into oceanfront properdy, but she just go "eww gross" and complain about no more paper towelz.

So me haff kestion. Which do you fink is ewwy-er...dog barf or Kevin Yooklis? Me think is definitely Kevin Yooklis.

Hi fren Bosco! My teef great fangs. Glad yours gud too. How you foodchik?

Hmm, I not sure which I fink is ewwyer. Dog barf might be worse because you donut feel too good when you do it and that's always yuck.

A most excellent question

Sharkbutt

I'm famous!!
On your blog!
Yay!
This is not mooey.
What is the opposite of mooey?

Evelyn,
I glad you famous!! Foodchik just notorious, and her smelp like poultry but me digress. This is a most excellent question and to me the opposite of mooey is fitchy because fitch is the best thing ever. But then so are pets from the foodchik if I'm rupset. When foodchik give us fitch her are more betterester so I'm thinking that more betterester is the opposite of mooey. Like when foodchiks and fooddudes ask me questions it more betterester.

Another question makes me smile

"And me made foodchik promise me that I can be the baby cat for a while still."

Sharkbutt
So sweet
I knew you were a softie.
Do you and the other cats leave Foodchik other kinds of surprises and presents?
Thank you for answering questions.

Evelyn,
Fang you so mutch for asking me questions. I'm a cat, I don't get out mutch, so it hard for me to think up stuff to say in my blog.
The big cats leave her presents, hork for the most part. I donut know what it really called, I know that what foodchik called it. And sometimes we catch a mouse presink and play with it and it dies, so we put it in one of her shoes. Her always happy about that. hahahahahahahah.

Sharkbutt
How you teef?!?!?
Mine sparkly good.
Do cats have cliques?
I only wonder because your foodchik say you run in social circles!

Hi Fren Evelyn,
My teef are great fangs. And I glad to hear yours are sparkly good.
Cats donut have cliques, we make cliques. And me fink when foodchik say we run in social circles that because we able to run and talk at the same time. Her cannot because her very mooey.

Fren Boscoooo!!

Hi fren Sharkbutt. How you teef? me teef gud.

Me dun like sponges cos they make me think a baff is coming and me hate baffs.

Do my foodchick think me am a otter sometimes or what?

Hi fren Bosco,
Me so glad your teef good and you good! I see what you mean about sponges, if foodchik ever came at me wif a sponge for a baff I would twitch, you know, more than I do now. Your foodchik might fink you a otter or that you like a baff like her like a baff, foodchiks odd with the mooey baff liking stuff.

Have a happy day!
your fren,
sharkbutt

I Love Questions!!!

How you teef?
I love spongebob.
Who is your favorite character?

My teef great fangs!
I like to watch spongebob because him have friends who are fitch. But my favorite is the Brain from Pinky and the Brain. (foodchik is Pinky - one is a genius the other's insane. kinda fits right?)

Yay Another Question

Shark butt
how you? how you teef? Mine good.
What's a normal amount to read?
I read a lot for a foodchik too.

Hi Evelyn,
I great fangs. My teef also. glad to hear your teef good.
A normal amount to read for a foodchik is one book at a time not 5. If you read fast you can read a whole lot, but reading more than one at a time confuses even me. Though I did read 2 books about fitch once. A Perfect Storm and One Fitch Two Fitch. They were good.
Have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

Wow, ya'll eat some weird stuff

I know that foodchik is odd, and mooey and eat all kinds of stuff that would give me nightmares if I ate it. Sometimes I sit on her head and ask her questions, like foodchik, why you eat trees? And her says sharkbutt, them not trees them broccoli or asparagus. To me they look like trees. So then me ask foodchik why you eat fings that look like trees. And here will say they are good for my heart and my teef. Well that ok. Even though I not entirely convinced foodchik have a heart. I know her have some teef.

Hello Friend Evelyn!!!

My husband and I have been walking around for two days saying "Hi! How you teef?"
Is that ok if we arent cats?
Because we think its the best greeting EVER.


Hi Evelyn,
how you? How you teef? Thank you so much for writing me a question, I loves to answer questions, because I get to make foodchik type and correct her spelping because she is mooey. Yes, yes, of course you can say hi! how you teef? Its just the best friendliest greeting, don't you think?
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt!

I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!!

It Aunt Grandma's birthday so foodchik got us some birthday shrimp today. It is deliciousness and makes my mouth smile and sing with happiness. Even though she makes me crazy with craziness, she is the best foodchik ever. She cooks tasty shrimp and cuts it up very nice to make a shrimp snack for me. Oh and the big cats who are cows and they moo.

These Cats

are working my very last nerve. Old cats like old foodchiks are moody and cranky and could do well with a little bite on the ear to straighten out their attitude. They are all cows and they moo. And it smells like cow shit in here.

Do you like where fitch live?

because my foodchik is obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with fish (that doesn't look right, fitch looks right). They can live wherever they live. It should be in my mouth.

But I digress, if you like pictures of where fitch live or the sun or the moon (I hope it's not her butt)

Foodchik takes pictures

Do you like where fitch live?

because my foodchik is obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with fish (that doesn't look right, fitch looks right). They can live wherever they live. It should be in my mouth.

But I digress, if you like pictures of where fitch live or the sun or the moon (I hope it's not her butt)

Foodchik takes pictures

Fren Bosco

Fireblossom said...
it sound the terribleness.

July 6, 2011 6:58:00 PM PDT

Fren Bosco, How you? How you teef? How you foodchik. It sound the terribleness Cuz it is. Her are risgusting wif what her try to cook. And her moo. I donut no how her can eet that, the big cats think it migh tbe the same stuff her put in our poo box. ICK!
Have a happy day,
your fren, Sharkbutt

Oh good her making quinoa again

like it might scar her or something to make fitch instead of quinoa, or fitch instead of chicken or fitch instead of spanokopita and don't think anyone getting fancy her get all this mess from Trader Joe's and her pretend them donut sell the fitch. Her a big mooey liar.

Quinoa look like worm eggs or sumping. Her weird and her moo. Fool.

Oh Fresh Hell

Her is trying to be vegetable-arian again, here's how this will go. Her will be vegetable-arian for a day, maybe 2 then her will get tired of all the farting and her will finally get tired of blaming Big Stripey for all the farts. And me will sit on her head and whisper in her hears about cheeseburgers and by Thursday this nonsense will stop again. Now if we could only get her to be a fishatarian.

Happy 4th of July. Shoot your fireworks somewhere else.

Her are truly shameless

We have discussed how her always going to where fitch live and never bringing back any fitch. Her take a million bazillion pictures of where fitch live. Maybe me mention it a time or two. Down at this place, them sell her pictures of where fitch live.

Her want people to buy them - don't. Buy other stuff from there Idiosyncrazies

Or do buy them if you want to then maybe her will spring for some fitch.

food is odd

Sometimes, her have a bagel wif butter and that is very tasty to my mouth, but other times her have it wif almond butter and it's risgusting. Where can we get fitch butter?

Fitch!

Yay, she made fitch for us, but she used hot sauced on it, which the big cats think is risgusting, but it just means more for me. I really donut think that buffalos taste like that.

I had a thought

so I sat on foodchiks head and talked in her hears and I said foodchik, you no how you like to take pictures of where fitch live and she said yes. I said foodchik do you think other people maybe donut live as close to where fitch live as us and might like to see pictures of that? And her said Sharkbutt you are a genius. And I said foodchik you are right I am a genius but think how much more genius I would be if you gave me fitch for brain food.

I had words

wif the foodchik, she came back from where fitch live which is where she go all the time now to be mooey and odd. But brings back no fitch. ever. so today me smelped fitch on her person and I sat on her head and said foodchik what up that you smelp like you were visiting with fish. Her said sharkbutt me was talking to guys that catch fitch. and one of them shaked my hand, he must have been baiting the hook to catch the fitch. So me say foodchik, what you mean by bait? And her telled me that if you want to catch fitch you put baits on the hook which will make the fitch think that it's not a hook and you can catch them. So then I said foodchik did you catch me with bait, and her said no. Then I asked foodchik did I catch you with bait and her said no. We will discuss that soon.

Excellent Question from My deer Friend Bosco

Me have kestion, fren Sharkbutt...you knows all about where fitch live. I want to know, where does bacon live? I searched my foodchick's reputer and no pix of bacon. What I need to do to find some?

Hi Bosco,
that is a most excellent question and looking at my foodchik I'm thinking that she probably ate a whole bacon. But I did what I do when I want to know stuff, I sit on her head and talked in her hears and asked her. What she says is that bacon, cat litter, yogurt, fitch and blueberry muffins go to the grossery store for foodchiks and fooddudes to buy. She says that involves money and I should not eat hers anymore. So if you go to the grossery store and go to where they keep stuff cold but not frozen like foodchik keeps it in the house all the time with the cold, but I digress. You will find bacon, probably by eggs (whatever they are) and crescent rolls and poisony orange juice (it not really poisony - it's just risgusting)

Mystified

Foodchik mystifies me, a lot. Me looked at this reputer, and her have 90 gazillion million pictures of where fitch live on here, but you think she would take a picture of a fitch or a couple two three fitch? NO, her a cow. and her moo!

I back

a while since I've been writing in my blog. The foodchik is very very strange she goes to wear fitch live in the darktime in the morning and then right before dark time at the night. Does she bring any fitch home? No! Never any fitch for me and big stripey and big orangey. Her a cow and her moo.