Her Back

Her smelp weird and her hairs are fixed. But her were at work a long time, that never make her happy. But her seem like her in a good mood, her are singing to us. Her sing this fake opera-y fing where her either make up fake words or just sing our names. It make me laff. Her a good chik and her gaved us food.

Her Has Lost Her Mindlet

Her always say it too little to be allowed out by itself, her are right. Her decided that me and the big cats should go where her go. Yes, that kinda go. Her bribing us wif nip. Me wonder if that how her mother taughted her wif nip.

ME LOVE QUESTIONSSS!!!

deer Sharkbutt,

Itsh me! Bosco! Me have kwestion. Ish some kind of hoomin holiday and me thot, wull, maybe dis means PIZZA!!!! But nooOOOooo. My foodchik made chicken, and chicken ish stoopid cos I never get gaven any of it. She say some stoopidness about bones. My foodchik aint the sharpest penquin in da box, needer! I'm a dog! Like bones bodder ME!

So my kwestion ish, how does me get my foodchik to gib me the right food that i want???? Remember she not real swift.

Fanks!

plz sign me Confoosed In Mishigun

deer Bosco Confoosed in Mishigun,
Hi fanks from writing me, me love answering questions. Yes, it are some kind of hollerday, me can tell cuz foodchik hollering more than usual. To get your foodchik to give you some chiken, you can ask her for no bone chicken, it not as tasty but it fun. It weerd how foodchiks ain't the sharpest penguins in the box, maybe that why them need us to be the brains of the operation. Anyway, how we werked it here was that big puppy gets a magalzine and someone sent her a credit card so we order sides of tuney fitch. Makes foodchik lose her mind and it relegal so donut do that. What me do, and donut tell my foodchik is just be cute when her eeting somping me like. And whine just a little bit. Her can hardly ever resist. Well, recept if her eeting her fish oil pills for her heart. Then me just out of luck.

Oh me ast big stripey too, him said, you can try to hip-nose-tize her, me fink this means sticking your hip in her nose until her do what you want but it could mean that you trick her into ordering the pizza or fitch or chicken no bones. good luck. Big orangy says sometimes her herd from this rockwilder her knewed that if you eet poop, your chik will give you pizza to make you stop. Me fink this could be a lie, puppy are mean like a snake. (her memind me of foodchik that way and her a cow and her moo)

have a happy day, your fiend, sharkbutt

Hmmm

Me would not call foodchik a quick study but her do sumping today that me like. Her opened the door when her come home and said cats, me have sumping to tell you so me and stripey go see her and puppy just growl at everybody. Her no fink her a cat. Foodchik say before you smelp it, me been visited by dogs, yes, me pet them, but only cuz me was telling them about you all my favorite cats in the world. And them wanted to no all about you guys so me ended up giving lots of pets. Me are happy her told us and later when me sit on her head and talk me will tell her.

Sometimes Her Do Sooprise Me

So me had a chat with the chik about the ice on her and her resplained to me about rinflammation and how the ice help get it gone or not have it happening. Every time me might get to finking her not the sharpest penguin in the box, her sooprise me. Her said Sharkbutt, when you hurt youself, you body sends white blood cells to run to the rescue so you no get rinfection and that creates rinflammation when heat and chemicleeze are where you got hurt at. So the ice takes out the heat, and keeps your blood from moving fastly. Fings slow down so that inflammation happen slow or not at all. and fings no swell, this are happiness when fings no swell.

So now me glad her use the ice especially if it get her to romp and stomp wif us soon. (but her still moo)

It's time for a chat

Me can just tell. Foodchik came back from the torture and now her on ice. Me fink her just do the ice to keep cats offa her. It weird. Me going to lick her head and say chik, what up wif the ice.

Perhaps me Have Mentioned that Her are simple

Cuz her are. Somehow, donut ask me her break her belt, and her pants not really fit without it. Her can be clever so her managed to keep her pants on wif her binder clip. But then that braked, when her were answering the door so the UPS dude seent her dainties. And good that her weared them today.

More Fings

Foodchik niece person said that not ten things so me needs more.

Me did figure out why her can stand it so cold in here and her no have fur, her hands are hot, her put them on you, you fink you gonna cook. Me wonder if her can hold fitch in her hand and cook them.

The rest of her hot too, feets, head all the between. Not warm, like the big cats, hot like hot.

Her odd, and her take pictures of odd stuff, see above, it would be less odd if me could rotate it but me cannot. Yes, it's 3 skullnesses and yes them on a massage table. Her just not right in her head.

Fings

Every once in a while one of foodchiks niece people write me and ask me fings about foodchik. Her wanted to know 10 fings.

Do foodchik have hobbies? (me correcting the Inklish, this kid not so swift) Her itch a lot, and drool.

What her favorite color? Her wear a lot of black, but me heard her say that her favorite color are some kind of blueness.

What her favorite food? me want to say fitch cuz that me favorite food, but me know her seem to have an unhealthy robsession wif chicken.

What her real name? Foodchik's real name is foodchik. Though her mom call her Skull.

What her do for fun? Her pet me, sometimes her go in her kayak and fall in and touch fitch but not bring them home. Me a little bit bitter about this. Her read stuff.

What kind of mewsic her like? Hher like pretty much anything but Bluegrass. Even the plinky plink massage mewsic with water running in the background that make me need to pee.

Ok, me fink that 10. In case you wonder, her snorp and her moo.

God, Her Are Simple

Me really wondering about her, her hop around her like a nut and then talk about monkeys. What are her know about monkeys? Her should talk about cats and butts. That what her no about.

Hmm, Me not sure about this

Foodchik sat down and had a chat with the big cats and me. Her said 'cats, we are concerned with the renvironment aren't we?' and we said yes, of course, foodchik, we are concerned. Why? Foodchik said why don't we all use the toilet. Me said foodchik, you not have enough sense to use a catbox, how you going to teach us to use a toilet? Her said, me working on it. This is what her have in mind.

http://www.citikitty.com



Me will report more soon, but me fink this is going to be like monkeys flying out her butt.

Foodchik Says

there will be no monkeys flying out of her butt. Her said her was being facetious - that looks like some kinda word her just make up. Her do that a lot, make up words. Now me worried that monkeys will fly outta my butt, but foodchik said that her got me wormed when I was a kitten so not likely anything will fly out my butt.

So far

no sign of monkeys.

Sometimes

Me listen to foodchik on the phone and her say some weird stuff that make me think. Today her was talking to some fool or 'nother (me no this cuz her say fool telemarketer, me not talking to a machine) and then her say something like and maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt. So me been following her around looking for the monkeys. Maybe them will come out when her asleep. Hmmm. Me will write more if me see them.

Foodchik and this massage stuff

Me are not remused, her smelp like 3 dogs that me donut no and a kitten, who me also donut no. So me said foodchik why you smelp like these dogs and what's the deal wif the kitten. Her said Sharkbutt them the same dogs as usual, plus one that cannot see and him bump into me. (how him miss her? foodchik are large) and the kitten had tests then her can go home to her foodchik in two weeks. And me said, foodchik is her foodchik someone I no? her said, Sharkbutt me don't know her foodchik but you revolve in different social circles than me so it is not me if that what you wondering. We agreed after you 5, maybe we will have another kitten.

Me happy now. Her a good foodchik and her hardly ever moo.

Fings that might help you

when you foodchik or fooddude are distracted. Foodchik usually distracted so mostly when talking to her no work. You no, when them just say yes, sharkbutt, yes and stuff like that, me find licking her head helps mostly because it tickles. But then sometimes her have the black thing in her ear and her say her on goddamn fucking hold. Me fink that probably not so nice a fing to say, and me fink her don't like being on goddamn fucking hold. So we were looking on the reputer for ways to not spend so much time wif the black thing in her ear and we found this.

http://www.gethuman.com/index.asp

It can help you to get a live foodchik or fooddude on the phone. Sometimes when foodchik is too easily remused her will call the yogurt companies and ask if her can eat the July 07 yogurt still. Them will say hey lady, me not going to tell you you can eat yogurt that's almost a years old. So that my other tip, me no necessarily fink it a good idea to eat yogurt past it date, even though foodchik do. I can't tell if it make her simpler or not. Although her are kinda simple even on a good day.

RELARMING!!!

Me don't hate much, but me hate when the relarm goes off. It is louder than bombs. Last night foodchik come home, her were covered in grease and dog hair. Me not remused by her and other dogs or cats or fitch, but me digress. So her whirl in and her act like her turned off the relarm then her went where go (if you know what me mean) and the relarm goes off. Up to then me was just looking out the front door looking for snax and oh wait me digress again. So her comes running out of the bathroom with her pants around her ankles then her turn off the relarm. But it gets worst, this morning, her opened the front door and her no turn the relarm off. LOUD!!! Me fink her will get a nasty gram from the homeowners ass.

Hi

Me not write lately because me been busy watching the snacks, I mean birds, and varmints springing around the outside. And chasing my Puppy the cat, her in training so me chase her. And Stripey the cat chases us both so we all rexercising. Then there's foodchik, her stand on these things that make her unstable so that her belly muscles have to work more. Me don't know why her think that her being more unstable a good idea though.