Halloween?

Me no like it when the doorbell rings. If foodchik here and her expecting it, it usually Chinese food and her will tell us, cats hide, here comes a rancher. Me not sure what it means, but foodchik do mutter unsavory stuff about Chinese food and cats and stuff. Me fink that it just a wives tail or something. So before foodchik got back from the torturer, the doorbell were ringing alot but her not here so me went up to the window to see who at the door and it not the UPS dude, or the Fed Ex dude, but very small people. IF them were cats you'd call them kittens, but them people so would you call them pittens? Anyway, them were ringing the doorbell.

Where Did Baseball Go?

Whenever there a baseball game on, me would watch it wif foodchik. Her resplained me what was going on, and me understand it pretty good and me think it way funny when her curse at the tv. Ha! Her a pretty foul mouthed old relic.

Me Never Would Have Guessed

Sometimes me watch tv with the foodchik and me learn stuff. Like we was watching something her call a damn commercial and them talking about constipation like it's something awful, and them talking about fiber like it's ice cream cake. So me asked the foodchik, me said foodchik, me have a question. Her said, yes, sharkbutt what is your question and how is your teeth? Me said thanks foodchik my teef are fine, but me confused, what are constipation? and what are fiber and what do them do? her said, sharkbutt, you know sometimes when you have to poo and it hard to do. Me said yes, foodchik. Her said, yes, sharkbutt that constipation. Me said, oh wow foodchik me never knew them had a name for it. How about fiber? Her said Sharkbutt fiber is kinda twiggy stuff that makes you poo easier. You know like the grassy stuff we grow for you. me said, franks foodchik me get it. That make a lot of sense.

More on How Them Different From Cats

When me want to eat or drink, me go to food dish and eat or water dish to drink. When me need more me hop on foodchik lap and tell her. This mean me sniff her mouf. When foodchik want to eat, her go to grocery store and get food or her go out where someone else cook it for her. Her no keep it in a dish for when her want it.

When we want to see foodchik hop around a lot or yelp, we put our toys in the toilet. HER HATE THAT, especially when the toilet respode. That was ugly. But veryy funny. Her was way not remused by the resploding toilet.

The other thing her hate is if her kinda napping and me just brush her face or arm wif my whiskers and her not know it me, her think it a pider and her yell and jump up. Me fink that funny.

Her a cow and her moo. But her a good chik and her make me laff. A lot.

Question

Deer Sharkbutt,
Hi, how you? How your teef? How do you know if your foodchik or fooddude are crazy? How do you know if you make them that way?

Fanks, your friend,
Earl

Deer Earl,
Hi, how you? Me good, my teef good. How your teef? Me asked foodchik about your second question because it concerned me that maybe me could make foodchik crazy. Her said Sharkbutt, no, you cannot make me crazy. Either a foodchik or fooddude is crazy or them not. You not going to make them crazy nuts.

How you know them crazy, that another story. It kinda hard to tell, sometimes if them talk to themselves, it could be because them nuts. Sometimes it could be because them trying to chant wifout waking that cat up. That would be a very considerate foodchik/dude not a nuts one. If them sound real animated or yell at themself yes, maybe them distrubbed. Good luck with your foodchik/dude. Mostly as long as they not a danger to you, to them or to other people no worry too much. Just let them pet you that make them feel better.

Have a happy day,
love your friend,
Sharkbutt

NPR

Hi How you and how you teef? Ha me funny.

So foodchik telled me her listen to NPR in the truck when her drive and sometimes in the houst. But we listened to it on the reputer just now. Sassafras mama told her about them having a story about the Dalai Lama on there. It was good. Me hope they talk to him soon, him a funny guy.

Etiquette

Some friends of foodchiks asked me how cats are different then people in how them talk and hang out and stuff. It pretty much how we deal wif everything else. For rexample, me like to sleep a lot and if me can sleep on foodchik and that even better. But Stripey has foodchik when her downstairs and Puppy no want her. When foodchik upstairs then her mines.

Another thing, foodchik and her friends say hi, how you? Cats say, hi, how you? and how you teef? See when you a cat having teef is like having a mouthful of friends, so you ask after the friends too. Just because it nice to do. And when me say Hi foodchik, how you? her will say Sharkbutt me radiantly festive, how you? and me say Me good, foodchik, how you teef? And her will say, my teef are very sharp, how are your teef? And then me will say very sharp too fanks. and then we talk about stuff, and me usually lick her head. Her a funny foodchik.

So that's today's information on cats and how we are.

Who Knew?

Me was sitting on foodchik head last night and asked her a question. You might need some deep background here. In the morning foodchik go in the rainroom and get her parts clean and me never see her lick herself anywhere. So me asked her foodchik, you know how we lick ourselves to clean up why you no do that? Her said, well, sharkbutt you have fur that you have to clean up and me don't have so much and me can't reach any of it so me no lick it. Then me said, foodchik why you no can lick your fur? Her said sharkbutt please donut put this in your blog but you can lick your furry spots recept your head because your hamstringies in your legs are flexible and in proportion to what you've looking to lick. Me said, Oh so you no can lick your business because of your hamstringies. Yes, sharkbutt her said. Have you tried? me said. Her said maybe. Me laugh, if her did her probably fall on her head.

Things I didn't know

Me was talking to foodchik last night about fings. (the things mentioned in the title) and me wanted to no why her cook stuff. Me just been noticing that her very much eat cooked food and in the wild me no that cats eat their meet on the hoof and raw. Me saw it on animal planet. So me said chick why you cook your food. Her said sharkbutt me no cook everything, and sometimes it's already cooked when I buy it but meet and stuff I cook mostly to either kill germies, or make it easier to chew because my teef not as sharp as yours for eating raw stuff. Her always resplain stuff so me understand, me thoughted her cooked stuff becuase if her don't it make her fart. (fc: no comment)

From Me Friend Jaxter

JAXTER said...
Hi Sharkbutt -Izzy and Molly don't like it when I come home smelling like the enemy, I mean any other dog, either - so maybe you three should conference about the injustice of such ill mannered behaviors!
October 18, 2007 1:26:00 PM PDT

Hi Jaxter, you right! Me talked to the big cats and them said Sharkbutt, we don't like it when her come home smelping like other cats or dogs either but we talk to food chik and her make us feel better. Also, we no like it when her brought you home either and we got over it after talking to food chik.

So me talk to foodchik, me said foodchik, it bother me a lot when you come home smelping like other cats and dogs. her said, sharkbutt, I'm sorry it bothers you. Really I am, but here's the thing. You know when you go to ant doctor kelly and her pet you and it make you feel better, and when ant am, ant kate, ant joan or ant granma and ant granpa come to visit and give you food and stuff and pets make you feel better? And me said, yes, foodchik me know. And her said well, when I massage people to make them feel better they think oh, my cat or dog would like this and they would be happy if I pet them so I do. It doesn't mean I don't love you. And it doesn't mean you are not my favorite cats ever.

So now me feel better, even though the big cats no liked it when her bringed me home. Ha!

Have a happy day,
your friend sharkbutt

Boy, me so not remused

Me know that foodchik is a massage therapu sometimes and her give a good massage. And me know that people get massages from her sometimes and me can smell them on her. Me no mind the peoples too much but me are really mad cuz her was petting some other catlet. Me can smelp that it's very young and her was petting it. Me her baby cat, damn it. (note from foodchik: my client has a 5 week old kitten, and she needed some reiki so I gave it to her, it's what I do. No affection there - ok, yeah right, it was an adorable kitten - teeny tiny)

So me mad. Me going to have to talk to food chik about this. (yes him will)

Nip

Deer Sharkbutt,

Hi How you? How you get your foodchik to give you nip?



thanks your friend,

Nipper



Deer Nipper,

Me good franks. How you?

Usually to get nip me just hop up on her chair lick her head and say food chik, her will say yes, sharkbutt. me say, can me have some nip? her will yes, of course, sharkbutt me will sprinkle some nip for you and the big cats. and her do. So me say just ask. me also have a nip dance. when me do it her know it time to give us some nip.



have a happy day,

your friend,

Sharkbutt

Question for Me

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi, how you? My foodchiks have a new cat let named Houdini, do me have to worry about him eating me rawhide bone?

Thanks,
Sassy

Deer Sassy,
Me good franks for asking. Hi, how you? Me fink you no have to worry about Houdini the cat let and the rawhide bone. Cats not much for rawhide and if it bigger than Houdini head him not going to fink to put it in him mouth.
Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Big stripey is a cow and he moos

Me are so not remused. Him decided it would be a good idea to gnaw on my foot. And instead of yelling, 'cat ganaw your own foot' like her usually do, her took a picture. Her a cow too. And her moo!

What are a Meme?

Ok, foodchik - ecrandori.blogspot.com said me need to do this so here it is.

1) What I was doing ten years ago: Me are 3.

2.) Five years ago: Me Still 3.

3) One year ago: Me live with foodchik and the old cats. Me eat, me sleep, me play, me got it good.

.4.) Yesterday: Foodchik camed home from r'Arizona.

.5.) 5 snacks I enjoy: Fitch, blueberry muffins, yogurt, ice cream and nip.

6.) 5 Things I would do if I suddenly had $100 million: pay mortgages for all the food chiks. buy food chik a new truck, buy ant doctor kelly a place for her to take care of cats.

7.) 5 locations I would like to run away to: Me look stupid to you or something? Why would I go?

5 bad habits I have: gas

5 things I like doing: eat, sleep, play, breathe, have nip.

10.) 5 TV shows I like: golf

11.) 5 things I hate doing: Me a cat, me don't do nuffing me hate.

12.) 5 Biggest joys of the moment: Food chik back, food chik back, food chik back,,,, yay!!! OH AND THIS IS WHERE HER WERE AT.

It's Back!!!

YES, me are talking about the foodchik and her are referred to as it until, me either forget her left us or her find us some nip. From what me can tell by smelps and so forth it were in r'Arizona, and her walked around alot. Me can tell from its feets.

So thanks for all of the foodchiks who camed to visit us and give us foods and pets. Them were very nice to do that. Food chik are a cow and her moo. But her back now and that good.