Foodchik, We have to talk

Sometimes I sit on foodchik head, it very large so there is enough room for me to sit and talk into her hears. I do this when I concerned about something, her always listen and usually then her say something wise.
So I said foodchik, rememory how you told me that I would be the baby cat until I was 5, now I 7 and I still the baby cat. Did you forget? Or do you not like new baby cats?

Her said, Sharkbutt, I just like you being the baby cat so much that I didn't think we needed a new baby cat. Do you think we need a new baby cat? I said no, foodchik, we donut. And her said that's what me think too.

I happy now.

Me Love questions!

Sharkbuttocks,

How you teef? Mine rock!

Hey listen, Foodchik is right, Halloween is like condoned begging and teenagers just come to the door not even dressed up. Such crapola. I mean if you want to give out candy, go ahead, but I think its silly. Halloween is about scary stuff and spirits and demons and souls and monsters, not the newest Disney Princess costume and a sugar filled plastic pumpkin.

Evelyn

P.S.(Linus says how you teef? His are sore, but he said he is enjoying the tunee fitch juice I give him twice a week.)

Hi Fren Evelyn,
Me great fangs, me teef good too fangs. Where you get tuneefitchjuice to give to Linus from? Do you use a juicer?

Halloween is just weird, the last few years foodchik has been giving out prunes, you no them things that look like dog brains? She thinks she's funny. But she misses the prunes once her give them away with her odd mooey self.

Have a happy day, your fren, sharkbutt.

Foodchik on the warpath

Her made fitch (shhhh, be quiet) big cats donut no. And it just smelped like it would be so tasty in my mouth that I hopped onto the counter to smelp it with my nose and I landed on her avocado and breaked it. Her still yelling.

Oh no me being confusing again.

Sharkbutt

How you teef?
WHAT?
I think I need you to tell me this story again because Why is Stripey being so mean? Why does your butt taste like a snake?? And most scary, why does Foodchik know what your BUTT tastes like?!?!?
My teef are good, but Linus lost a front teef. He not remused, but seems to still eat and poo.
fangs for always answering questions.
Evelyn

Hi fren, Evelyn, Fangs to you for asking me questions. It too hard to be a cat and make all of this stuff up. Stripey not mean, him think him funny. Puppy, she mean. Me not sure why, me fink because her a cow and her moo. Foodchik knows a lot of stuff but her donut no what my butt tasty like. Big Puppy does because when me were a little cat her helped me with that. That waas before her turned mean like a snake. Me sorry to hear that Linus lost a front teef, him so not remused, I know. Glad him still eat and poo. Glad you teef good. That happy,
your fren,
Sharkbutt

It got worse

so yesterday Puppy got pizza stuff spilled on her, then big Stripey stomped on her and said look, I'm a bug and I'm tastying you wif my feet. She growled like her do (her growl like foodchik say moo) then she smacked him in the neck and stepped on him head and say you don't tasty like a bug you tasty like Sharkbutt's butt. Her mean like a snake, even foodchik thinks so.

tomato sauce

Foodchik thinks she can cook, but I got news. That'd be no. Not even close. She spilled cheese and tomato sauce on Puppy (it's best you donut ask) so now Stripey and me call Puppy pizza cat and her totally not remused.

Maybe...

Sharkbutt!

Linus is an old man. So his teef are not the best. He is orange, like Stripey.
I think maybe I'm salty.
Dont cats like salt? Its like kisses except his breath smells like poo a lot so...

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
How you? How you teef? Linus is orange and old like Puppy D, and foodchik too. You prolly salty on you eyes. Cats mostly like salt, but our food is so salty that foodchik eat it instead of popcorn. But it salty so Stripey doesn't forget how to pee. Him simple like a box of hair.
Have a happy day,
your frend,
Sharkbutt

Are Her Kidding Me?

Sharkbutt!

How you? How you foodchik and you teef? Hey listen, whats wrong with saving a little on heat? Doesnt your fur act as a fur coat? And it brings you and the other kitties together! Nice and warm. I like it a little chilly because it makes my kitty, Linus come and lay with us. And he licks under my eyes. I wonder why.

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
I good, my foodchik are a loon. My teef great fangs, how you teef? Nothing wrong wif saving a little on heat, but her keep it at 60 in here in the wintery time with a window opened and freezy cold outside so that not saving a li'l on heat that's just resane. How is Linus? How is him teef? Him prolly lick under your eyes to taste them. Have a happy day, your frend Sharkbutt

This isn't likely to end well

I have perhaps mentioned that foodchik go where fitch live all the time. And her did this morning because that what her do, get up when it the dark time and take her mooey butt to the beach (that one place where fitch live) and take pictures. Well, today her made her espresso coffee stuff that give her personalities and what not, but her forget it on the counter, because her mooey and has the attention span of a grape nut (which are the mooiest food on earth). Me fink me will hide her keys to see her twitch.

Interesting question

Hi fren Sharkbutt. It's me, fren Bosco. How u teef? me teefs gud.

Sometimes me drink lot of wadder frum my bowl all at once, and then me barf. Me tell my foodchick me making the libbing room into oceanfront properdy, but she just go "eww gross" and complain about no more paper towelz.

So me haff kestion. Which do you fink is ewwy-er...dog barf or Kevin Yooklis? Me think is definitely Kevin Yooklis.

Hi fren Bosco! My teef great fangs. Glad yours gud too. How you foodchik?

Hmm, I not sure which I fink is ewwyer. Dog barf might be worse because you donut feel too good when you do it and that's always yuck.

A most excellent question

Sharkbutt

I'm famous!!
On your blog!
Yay!
This is not mooey.
What is the opposite of mooey?

Evelyn,
I glad you famous!! Foodchik just notorious, and her smelp like poultry but me digress. This is a most excellent question and to me the opposite of mooey is fitchy because fitch is the best thing ever. But then so are pets from the foodchik if I'm rupset. When foodchik give us fitch her are more betterester so I'm thinking that more betterester is the opposite of mooey. Like when foodchiks and fooddudes ask me questions it more betterester.

Another question makes me smile

"And me made foodchik promise me that I can be the baby cat for a while still."

Sharkbutt
So sweet
I knew you were a softie.
Do you and the other cats leave Foodchik other kinds of surprises and presents?
Thank you for answering questions.

Evelyn,
Fang you so mutch for asking me questions. I'm a cat, I don't get out mutch, so it hard for me to think up stuff to say in my blog.
The big cats leave her presents, hork for the most part. I donut know what it really called, I know that what foodchik called it. And sometimes we catch a mouse presink and play with it and it dies, so we put it in one of her shoes. Her always happy about that. hahahahahahahah.

Sharkbutt
How you teef?!?!?
Mine sparkly good.
Do cats have cliques?
I only wonder because your foodchik say you run in social circles!

Hi Fren Evelyn,
My teef are great fangs. And I glad to hear yours are sparkly good.
Cats donut have cliques, we make cliques. And me fink when foodchik say we run in social circles that because we able to run and talk at the same time. Her cannot because her very mooey.

Fren Boscoooo!!

Hi fren Sharkbutt. How you teef? me teef gud.

Me dun like sponges cos they make me think a baff is coming and me hate baffs.

Do my foodchick think me am a otter sometimes or what?

Hi fren Bosco,
Me so glad your teef good and you good! I see what you mean about sponges, if foodchik ever came at me wif a sponge for a baff I would twitch, you know, more than I do now. Your foodchik might fink you a otter or that you like a baff like her like a baff, foodchiks odd with the mooey baff liking stuff.

Have a happy day!
your fren,
sharkbutt

I Love Questions!!!

How you teef?
I love spongebob.
Who is your favorite character?

My teef great fangs!
I like to watch spongebob because him have friends who are fitch. But my favorite is the Brain from Pinky and the Brain. (foodchik is Pinky - one is a genius the other's insane. kinda fits right?)

Yay Another Question

Shark butt
how you? how you teef? Mine good.
What's a normal amount to read?
I read a lot for a foodchik too.

Hi Evelyn,
I great fangs. My teef also. glad to hear your teef good.
A normal amount to read for a foodchik is one book at a time not 5. If you read fast you can read a whole lot, but reading more than one at a time confuses even me. Though I did read 2 books about fitch once. A Perfect Storm and One Fitch Two Fitch. They were good.
Have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

Wow, ya'll eat some weird stuff

I know that foodchik is odd, and mooey and eat all kinds of stuff that would give me nightmares if I ate it. Sometimes I sit on her head and ask her questions, like foodchik, why you eat trees? And her says sharkbutt, them not trees them broccoli or asparagus. To me they look like trees. So then me ask foodchik why you eat fings that look like trees. And here will say they are good for my heart and my teef. Well that ok. Even though I not entirely convinced foodchik have a heart. I know her have some teef.

Hello Friend Evelyn!!!

My husband and I have been walking around for two days saying "Hi! How you teef?"
Is that ok if we arent cats?
Because we think its the best greeting EVER.


Hi Evelyn,
how you? How you teef? Thank you so much for writing me a question, I loves to answer questions, because I get to make foodchik type and correct her spelping because she is mooey. Yes, yes, of course you can say hi! how you teef? Its just the best friendliest greeting, don't you think?
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt!