It Back

it had went away on recation, now it back and it moo. It smelp like it been around a lot of kids. Hahahaha.

Her Are Persistent Though

Her did go back to where fitch live today, her says her no whisper this time but still no fitch. Her say maybe it cuz them on vacation. Me say maybe it cuz them scared of cows.  But me have fishy pets, did me mention me very recited about that?

Pigeons

Food chik seems to like books about pigeons which is weerd because I thought all her ever read about was sports and crime and smut.  So this pigeon wants to drive a bus, and have a hot dog party, and gets him feathers bent when a duckling gets a cookie, even though the duckling give the cookie to the pigeon.  I would be respicious if I were him because if Puppy the evil gave me a cookie it's probably because she horked on it.

FITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me cannot believe it, Medicine Chick buyed us fitch! Two Fitch!!! Them names are Fang and Spike!!!!  Me have so many questions for them, but them donut talk mutch and I cannot pet them.  I wonder if them like the taste of fitch?  And if fitch poop tasty like fitch?  And do them like stories?   So many questions! Me so excited I can hardly stand it.

Me Hates to Admit It

but my teefs feel mutch better now, you donut always no how bad stuff feels until you get it fixed.  I'm still not remused by being snatched from my houst, and sent to camp for a week.  We had rinteresting activities, like racing around the room and watching big Stripey's wubba shake.   Oh and watch him try and lick him butt, him try to lift his wubba to reach him business.  Too funny.  Puppy the evil never says nothing but effing meow, because her and foodchik be hanging around too much so there's nothing but profanity, damn it.

Still Not Remused

I'm still so mad that me had some teef stolen that I don't know how to act, I want to poo on the couch or on the foodchik.

Things you donut want your cat to know

You may not want your cat to read this; Unpainted sheetrock is easier to climb. If you chew their hair it makes them nervous. If you fart in their faces they think it's cute. Not so much when you scrape the poo off your butt onto the carpet.

HOW TO GET INFORMATIONS...

sometimes them make me lick foodchiks head to ask her questions and rebarass her by putting them on here.

So me ast foodchik why you got so many tattooks? her say so her can remember who her is. We're guessing her need to get foodchik tattooked on her head.

Then me ast her foodchik what your real haircolor? her said, sharkbutt it all colors. like big stripey except not so stripey.

Me will have more questions later. her odd and her moo.

While We Were At Camp

We went hunting for fings and we found...

Hmmm, I'm guessing it would not make a good foodchik... but she can be replaced.

Not Remused

So me always ask everyone how you teef? Because if you teef happy every fing is just more betterester, right? Right! Well, me was buzzing around living large, though not as large as big Stripey, when Medicine Chik snatched me and the big cats and put us in cages and took us to what foodchik said was Camp AntDoctorKelly. It was full of strangies, and smelps that were weird and doggy. And I got teef pulled out of my hed and so did Puppy the evil. Did me mention me are not remused? Me are completely not remused. We just got home today and foodchik can bite a fart, me not coming out until me good and ready, food chik is a cow and her moo.

Sometimes The Thinking Gets Me In Trouble

Sometimes I sit on foodchik head when her snorping and me tell her fings in her hears, like "foodchik, take your vitamings" or "foodchik, bring home some fitch." And mostly I donut think it works, because her donut bring us home any fitch. So me fink me will tell her foodchik "dance wif underwears on your head and moo!" Her might do that.

Now there are two of them

Two food chiks or a medicine chik and a food chik, it mostly good but when them decide you claws are getting clipped there is no rescape.

Her a cow and her moo!

Her where fitch live,.visicking..do her.bring me fitch?no.her donut.cow

Question

Why do people wear underwear?

Sometimes Smoking not so bad

Wait! Me not talking about cigarettes, me talking about garlic, and meets, and fitch and chickens, and beans. Mostly fings that make food chiks fart, and yes, her smoke them in the smoker. Me not sure why, me have to wait until she is resleep and whisper in her hears to find out.

Me Heard

Listen, me heard from Medicine chik that foodchik growled at kid at Lowe's and maybe her nipped him. Me fink her losing it. Oh and her phone quacks like a duck. Her nuts.

Brimstone and Mulch

Dori said...
I would like to know where you get this combination of brimstone and mulch? It doesn't seem like it would naturally take up the same space.

Hi fren Dori,
I donut no where it come from, I just no where foodchik is, that smelps is. that's what I know.
have a happy day,
your fren,
sharkbutt

Question from fren Dori! Yay!

Dori said...
If you make it something rigusting, won't she be able to figure it out quickly? Oughtn't you make the password something fuzzy bunny-like? like "wabbits"?

Hi fren Dori,
How you? How you teef? Me teef good, fangs.

I was thinking moos but wabbits is good. I could make it her name Sherla and her simple self would not figure it out.
Have a happy day, your fren, Sharkbutt

Hello

Evelyn said...
Sharkbutt,

How is the fitch sitchuation?
I see foodchik is tweeting pictures of the ocean...
you must be getting fitch all the time!

Hello friend Evelyn,
Foodchik is a cow and she moos, we donut riscuss fitch in the houst anymore, foodchik is always going to see where them live and DO NOT BRING ANY HOME EVER FOR ANYONE TO EAT. Her a cow and her moo. fool. Now me rupset.
How you teef?

Yay Questions!!!

Dori said...
The boids and the rabbits like to eat our plants so they are very annoying to us. Bad Boids! Bad wabbits! They are audacious and bold, so we need a vicious killer kitty to come and scare them away. We have a kitty, but she is neither vicious nor a killer. Someone took her front claws ( awww :( ) Maybe you could give her some advice about how to catch snacks wif yo teef?



Hi fren Dori,
If you cat have no more claws in front, her still have back claws which can really jack a snack up. Mostly the snacks get ded because me play with them too mutch. Not so much with the teef!

Springing

This is the time of year people who talks about weather and times of year call Spring. Some of them say that it because things are growing and springing out of the ground, get it? Me neither. Me say, and me know this becuase me watch out the window, that Spring is the time when snacks, have baby snacks. Bunnies, mouses, and boids - filthy disgusting boids, have more of them. And them are so short that them have to spring up out the grass to see fings. Fings like me stalking them for my snacking pleasure. Them don't have to spring up to see big stripey stalking them because he are renormous and it sounds like Godzilla taking Tokyo when him stomp around.

Her Make Me Itch

I repologize for not having wrote mutch lately, I was trying but foodchik is simple and changed the password to me blog on me. How are me supposed to keep up wif the blog if I donut have a password for the blog. Puppy the Evil shown me how to change the password on foodchik! Ha! Me will show her, me will change all her passwerds to someping risgusting.

Fren Kiln D Ragon asked a question

Hey Puppy! Does Simple cat's farts smell bad?

Hey Kiln,
How are you? How you teef? Puppy not using reputer today so me will answer. Cats eet fitch, fitch smelp kind of rough after you digest it. So pretty much all cats farts smell bad. Foodchik say them smelp like brimstone and mulch.
Have a happy day, your friend,
Sharkbutt

Fings foodchiks say

My foodchik is a li'l different so her say stuff like:

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus, what in hell do you cats eat?


Her knows what we eat, her buys it and feeds it at us.

Her will also ask silliness, like Shark, you gonna eat that?

Her also, sing at us.

What New Pussy Cat - is very popular.

Let Us Be Clear

Sharkbutt
oh you.
stepping on your head makes you fart?
tee hee

Evelyn

Fren Evelyn,
Me glad you asked. When me was a kitten, the big cats stepping on me might make me fart. Then like now if foodchiks or fooddudes step on me it make me dead. So donut do it.

Fangs, your friend,
Sharkbutt

Questions, I love questions

Lego dude says, " I like that one. It's funny. Why does Sharkbutt say that Puppy is evil as a snake? Why is your name Sharkbutt?"

Hi Fren Lego Dude,
How you? How you teeef? Puppy is evil as a snake because her step on me head to try to make me fart. And her growl a lot. My name is sharkbutt because me tail is black with a tiny bit of white at the end and foodchik fink it look like a sharkfin, which I know is not really the butt and you know is not really the butt. But foodchik forget.

Guest Post from Puppy the Evil

Me only doing this because foodchik make me. Here is Puppy.

I am not mean like a snake, I've just been a really bad mood since the Striped Load and the Little Simple Cat moved in here. Here's the thing when they were little cats and acted up, I could step on them heads and they would smarten up. Well, mostly, the Little Simple Cat would fart when you step on his head. Still does. I'm not mean, I just don't want them stomping me while I nap so maybe I snarl a little bit.

Also, I neither enjoy nor like hork, I merely hork. And if it happens to make the Foodchik or the Medicine Chik hop around like maniacs that's pretty happy.

Peace, out!
Puppy D Cat

Nicknames

I no foodchik have a real name, it is Shirla, and foodchik is her nick name. My nickname is Monkey, big Stripey's nickname is Roundini and Puppy's nickname is Snake cuz her mean like one.

You got a nickname? What is it?

Fings me didn't no

Where has bacon been all my life? I no foodchik was not sharing because she wants it all for her big mooey self. But bacon is almost as tasty in my mouf as fitch. Almost, but not quite.

What is tastiest in your mouf? And keep it clean I only 7.

So It Winter

again, and that mean her keep it cold enuf to hang meat in her, though because medicine chik is here and foodchik donut want her to freeze, her turn up the heet, a little. This means nobody can see they breath. You wouldn't call it warm. The good thing is that wif medicine chik here there are 4 hands to pet three cats so not so much with cat wars anymore. That just more betterester.

You know

me would rather walk on me lips than criticize any of the big cats, but when big Stripey sits around the couch he sits around the whole entire couch. If it weren't for the fur, me would not no his butt from foodchiks. Odd. Very odd.

Foodchik hates hork

Puppy the cat likes to hork stuff up for fun. Her very weerd that way. And kinda mooey.

Me Love Questions!

Those big cats!
such poops.
Thank you for answering my questions...
was the new password poop?

Hi fren Evelyn,
The new password wasn't poop, I think it was Latin.

From Fren Evelyn

Sharkbutt,

How you teefery?

I think houses are cat gates.

What do you and the other cats think about this Occupy stuffies?

Happery Hollerdaysery!

E

Hi Evelyn,
Hi, how you? How you teef? my teefness would be better if food chik not change all the passwords on the reputer from FART to somping else.

I asked the big cats about this Occupy stuff, them say little cat if you don't unoccupy my spot on the couch I will step on your head. Them mean like snakes because heat is against food chik religion. Her odd and her moo!

Me Love Questions!

Sharkbutt
How you teef?
so even if she burn you some fitch, you wont eat it?!?
E

Hi fren E,
My teef grate how your teef? It depends on what the burnt tasty like, sometimes it tasty like mulch which I like sometimes like logs which I donut like.

have a happy day your friend, sharkbutt

Yay!

Dear Sharkbutt,

I'm happy to see your words! how you teef?
Hey listen, if your Foodchik like sun, thats good. Otherwise maybe she be one of those new stylish vampires and I know those foodvamps suck blood. and I think cats have blood.
Linus, my kitty, says hi and his teef ok and Merry Hollerdays.

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
And Linus the kitty, how everybuddy's teef? Merry Hollerday though I know I'm late because foodchik a cow and her moo all over this reputer. Me fink foodvamps are goths gone horribly wrong or sumping.

Love the questions

Sharkbutt!
Is fish poo a cat delicacy?!?
My teef ok, but I messed up my shoulder wrestling a toddler in a fancy schmacy Boston restaurant. Her a cow and boy did she moo when I put her ass in time out.
LOVE
Friend Evelyn

Hi frend Evelyn,
How do you put her ass in time out? Does the rest of her get the time out too? Is toddler wrastling fun? Fish poo is fact of life more than delicacy, as foodchik put it fish shit in water. Her very much delicateness, sweetness and lights.

Have a happy day,
your fren,
Sharkbutt

MECIDINE CHIK!

Dear Shark,

I believe that if you stop stepping on the ouchy parts of Medicine Chik's thigh, she may be inclined to help with the cooking :)

Hi Medicine Chik,
how you? How you teef? How your werk magic to get foodchik to put some heat on some of the time. you a magic medicine chik. Can you make us fitch?
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt