Sick Foodchik

Food chik was frowing up yesterday. Me no like it when her do. It scary and loud. Her no like it much either.

Deer Sharkbutt

My foodchik always put the toilet lid down so me no can drink out of there. Why them do that? Thanks, your friend Frank

Deer Frank,
Hi, How you?
Me good. Me asked the big cats about this and them said the problems are 2 fings really. One is that it too germy for you to drink water out of and two is if you fall in you can get hurt or drownded. that would be way bad.
have a happy day,
your friend,
sharkbutt

Madness

Me not speaking to the foodchik. Her let us run out of food. (no her didn't they just had more canned food than usual) Me like the spring though and me will talk to her soon. Her not a bad food chik her just kinda a spaz sometimes. And a nut.

More Juice

Foodchik was playing with vegebles again, me fink her playing this vegetarian business again but then her made meat for dinner. Ha! Her no know what her is meatatarian or vegetarian.

Why It Called Spring

Some fool was on TV last night, (food chik no let us watch mutch of it, but we all like baseball) and asking why them call it spring now. And the other fool answered and him answer stupid. It Spring because all the snacks (t.n. snacks would be birds, squirrels, bunnies and other unwitting small animals that appeal to the carnivore lurking within each cat) anyway, all the snacks are springing around, them move fastest in the Spring. That why it called Spring.

We Had a Sitdown

Me had a sitdown with the foodchik, this is how this go, her will be laying down usually finking about sleeping and then me will sit on her head and give her some licks so her not notice that her cannot get up wif me on her head. And her giggle when me lick her head. So then me say foodchik, (that what me call her) me gotta talk. her say, sharkbutt you look distrubbed, what is the matter? Me said that me worried that her will make us vegetarians when we is meatatarian. Her said Sharkbutt, no worry me know you have to be a meatatarian, vegables not that good for you and me no like it when you fart so no worry. Me not even a vegetarian because me love a cheese burger, a chicken burger and a steak meet and me no can stand the farts. So we have that settled and me happy now.

Water

Big Puppy were telling about where fitch live, me didn't know them lived in water. Me like water but me love fitch and me no want to drink them house. We drink a lot of water, mostly because food chik no give us anything else like single malt scotch or cream o' meat soup.

Me Are Back

Me were on sabbatical in protest. Foodchik buyed a juicer, her is finking about being a vegetarian (again). If her want to do this and her no kill us wif the gas, me have no problem wif this, but these are very, very big if's. Especially that farting business. But me will no be a vegetarian, me are a meatatarian, fank you very much.

Cows are vegetarian, not cats. Food chik moo.