Yay A Question

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi how you? how you teef? Me have a question for you. how do you pick the right fooddude or foodchik?

Fanks,
Ethelbert

Deer Ethelbert,
How you? How you teef? Me teef good. That a excellent question and me talked to foodchik about it because her know stuff about how foodchiks think. When me was a kitten, me and my brothers were res-q'd, me fink that foodchik code for ooooooooooh, cute kittens, lets take care of them so they don't make more that will eat all the food. after e were res-q'd we went to antdoctorkellys office and we growed up there until we were old enough to not need bottles any more and big cats taught us how to use the box and eat and stuff. At the same time foodchik looked around her house and said me fink we need one more cat because it will be funner. So when you have res-q people who know foodchiks or fooddudes that need one more cat then you are in luck. Them come to meet you and you sniff them and if you like them and purr at them and they smelp ok, not mean, then you found you a foodchik or fooddude. Me remember that after foodchik met me and my brothers - my brothers already had fooddudes and chiks coming to get them. Her said to ant doctorkelly can I take him to go? And her said sure. And that my story about how I got this foodchik. Mostly it luck and somebody res-q-ing knowing good fooddudes and chiks.

Her Fink Her Are Funny

Her not funny. Her are a cow and her do moo. Somebody ringed the doorbell, usually when somebody ring the doorbell it either the Blue chick or the Brown dude. Every onst in a while it someone from FedRex. But today it were little kids, me find little kids respicious, foodchik have no candy in the house so her gived kids granola bars and me fink tomatos. Her are not right in her head, who give someon tomatos. Me guess me should be glad they didn't give them any tuney fitch. But then her sneaked into the back yard so her no hear the door ring. And me can see her, her laughing herself sick.

Yay! Bosco!

Hi Sharkbutt!!! It's me, yor frend Bosco!

You anser kwestions real good, so me gots anodder one!

If someone put a ten penny nail in some coked-up cola, and anodder ten penny nail in some cat vomick, which would dissolve the penny firstest? Me say cat vomick, foodchick say coked-up cola. Who iz rite?

Or shood we be asking Villidge Carpenter?

Fanks,

yor frend Bosco!

Hi Bosco my frend!
Fanks for the nudder question, me love them. Me fink it depends if the coked-up cola is diyit, the ten penny nail will resolve in it first. Otherwise me fink probably the cat vomick, but only if it not hairy vomick.

Have a happy day,
sharkbutt

Me Love Another Question

Dear Sharkbutt,
Hi, How are you? How are your teeth? My question is how does it work when you lick your foodchiks head to calm her down, and when you talk to her what do you say?
Thanks,
Squonky

Dear Squonky,
How you? How you mom? Me good, me teef good too. How your teef? This is a very good question. Me don't recommend you try licking anyone's head cuz you not a cat and digesting hair will make you fart, not like us, we vomick. Anyway, try petting them head. Me not sure how the technical stuff works, but here why me fink it work. To lick her head foodchik have to be lying down for me to reach it. That relaxing for her. And anybody rubbing her head is relaxing for her, it make her less deranged and stuff. What me say to her is usually, foodchik you home now, you fed cats, you brushed your teef, all you got to do now is breathe. So rihale and rexhale and do it again. After her calmed down and is breathing good, me tell her a story. Her have 2 favorites but her fall asleep once me start telling them. IT good when her fall asleep so I can look inside her mouf to see if her have any fitch her not share wif me. It not that her hog it, but sometimes her hog it.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Finally

Her turned the heat on. Her comed home saw me and big stripey and puppy all piled on the chair, laffed and called us catsicles and said me better whoop up some heat for you. Me going to hide her seeing glasses her a cow and her moo.

COLD COLDNESS

It are cold, it were snowing, it now raining, her still have windows open. Her are resane and crazinuts. Me going to have a chat wif her in a minute. Her need to turn the heats on.

Me Love Questions!

Hi Sharkbutt, how you teef?!? My teef good.

So, dooz this make your foodchik be like a snack, like the snacks that fly around outdoors?

Once, foodchick's old dog, Sundance, caught a hoppy snack. Me werent there but me heard the storee. Foodchick were horrified and say, why you kill tha Eester Bunny? Then she were sad cos Sundance had been so proud and bringed it to her as a giff, and foodchick loved Sundance the way she love me, which is to the moon n back. But she still felt bad for da Eester hoppy snack. Her hart is all mooshy goo.

Yor pal,

Bosco!

Hi Bosco, How you? me glad to hear your teef good. My teef good too.

That a rinteresting question, snaks are kind of like morsels, foodchik would feed lions for a week so her not quite a snak. Her more like a feast.

Me fink if we kilt the easter bunny guy foodchik would cry to, her hart is mooshy goo too. Recept for when her no have one. hahahahaha! Sometimes me call her the world's only living heart donor.

Have a happy day, your friend Sharkbutt