Halloween?

Me no like it when the doorbell rings. If foodchik here and her expecting it, it usually Chinese food and her will tell us, cats hide, here comes a rancher. Me not sure what it means, but foodchik do mutter unsavory stuff about Chinese food and cats and stuff. Me fink that it just a wives tail or something. So before foodchik got back from the torturer, the doorbell were ringing alot but her not here so me went up to the window to see who at the door and it not the UPS dude, or the Fed Ex dude, but very small people. IF them were cats you'd call them kittens, but them people so would you call them pittens? Anyway, them were ringing the doorbell.

Where Did Baseball Go?

Whenever there a baseball game on, me would watch it wif foodchik. Her resplained me what was going on, and me understand it pretty good and me think it way funny when her curse at the tv. Ha! Her a pretty foul mouthed old relic.

Me Never Would Have Guessed

Sometimes me watch tv with the foodchik and me learn stuff. Like we was watching something her call a damn commercial and them talking about constipation like it's something awful, and them talking about fiber like it's ice cream cake. So me asked the foodchik, me said foodchik, me have a question. Her said, yes, sharkbutt what is your question and how is your teeth? Me said thanks foodchik my teef are fine, but me confused, what are constipation? and what are fiber and what do them do? her said, sharkbutt, you know sometimes when you have to poo and it hard to do. Me said yes, foodchik. Her said, yes, sharkbutt that constipation. Me said, oh wow foodchik me never knew them had a name for it. How about fiber? Her said Sharkbutt fiber is kinda twiggy stuff that makes you poo easier. You know like the grassy stuff we grow for you. me said, franks foodchik me get it. That make a lot of sense.

More on How Them Different From Cats

When me want to eat or drink, me go to food dish and eat or water dish to drink. When me need more me hop on foodchik lap and tell her. This mean me sniff her mouf. When foodchik want to eat, her go to grocery store and get food or her go out where someone else cook it for her. Her no keep it in a dish for when her want it.

When we want to see foodchik hop around a lot or yelp, we put our toys in the toilet. HER HATE THAT, especially when the toilet respode. That was ugly. But veryy funny. Her was way not remused by the resploding toilet.

The other thing her hate is if her kinda napping and me just brush her face or arm wif my whiskers and her not know it me, her think it a pider and her yell and jump up. Me fink that funny.

Her a cow and her moo. But her a good chik and her make me laff. A lot.

Question

Deer Sharkbutt,
Hi, how you? How your teef? How do you know if your foodchik or fooddude are crazy? How do you know if you make them that way?

Fanks, your friend,
Earl

Deer Earl,
Hi, how you? Me good, my teef good. How your teef? Me asked foodchik about your second question because it concerned me that maybe me could make foodchik crazy. Her said Sharkbutt, no, you cannot make me crazy. Either a foodchik or fooddude is crazy or them not. You not going to make them crazy nuts.

How you know them crazy, that another story. It kinda hard to tell, sometimes if them talk to themselves, it could be because them nuts. Sometimes it could be because them trying to chant wifout waking that cat up. That would be a very considerate foodchik/dude not a nuts one. If them sound real animated or yell at themself yes, maybe them distrubbed. Good luck with your foodchik/dude. Mostly as long as they not a danger to you, to them or to other people no worry too much. Just let them pet you that make them feel better.

Have a happy day,
love your friend,
Sharkbutt

NPR

Hi How you and how you teef? Ha me funny.

So foodchik telled me her listen to NPR in the truck when her drive and sometimes in the houst. But we listened to it on the reputer just now. Sassafras mama told her about them having a story about the Dalai Lama on there. It was good. Me hope they talk to him soon, him a funny guy.

Etiquette

Some friends of foodchiks asked me how cats are different then people in how them talk and hang out and stuff. It pretty much how we deal wif everything else. For rexample, me like to sleep a lot and if me can sleep on foodchik and that even better. But Stripey has foodchik when her downstairs and Puppy no want her. When foodchik upstairs then her mines.

Another thing, foodchik and her friends say hi, how you? Cats say, hi, how you? and how you teef? See when you a cat having teef is like having a mouthful of friends, so you ask after the friends too. Just because it nice to do. And when me say Hi foodchik, how you? her will say Sharkbutt me radiantly festive, how you? and me say Me good, foodchik, how you teef? And her will say, my teef are very sharp, how are your teef? And then me will say very sharp too fanks. and then we talk about stuff, and me usually lick her head. Her a funny foodchik.

So that's today's information on cats and how we are.