Advice from a Shark

Fren Kiln D Ragon asked a question

2012-01-28T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hey Puppy! Does Simple cat's farts smell bad?

Hey Kiln,
How are you? How you teef? Puppy not using reputer today so me will answer. Cats eet fitch, fitch smelp kind of rough after you digest it. So pretty much all cats farts smell bad. Foodchik say them smelp like brimstone and mulch.
Have a happy day, your friend,
Sharkbutt

Fings foodchiks say

2012-01-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

My foodchik is a li'l different so her say stuff like:

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus, what in hell do you cats eat?

Her knows what we eat, her buys it and feeds it at us.

Her will also ask silliness, like Shark, you gonna eat that?

Her also, sing at us.

What New Pussy Cat - is very popular.

Let Us Be Clear

2012-01-28T07:31:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt
oh you.
stepping on your head makes you fart?
tee hee

Evelyn

Fren Evelyn,
Me glad you asked. When me was a kitten, the big cats stepping on me might make me fart. Then like now if foodchiks or fooddudes step on me it make me dead. So donut do it.

Fangs, your friend,
Sharkbutt

Questions, I love questions

2012-01-26T16:57:00.000-08:00

Lego dude says, " I like that one. It's funny. Why does Sharkbutt say that Puppy is evil as a snake? Why is your name Sharkbutt?"

Hi Fren Lego Dude,
How you? How you teeef? Puppy is evil as a snake because her step on me head to try to make me fart. And her growl a lot. My name is sharkbutt because me tail is black with a tiny bit of white at the end and foodchik fink it look like a sharkfin, which I know is not really the butt and you know is not really the butt. But foodchik forget.

Guest Post from Puppy the Evil

2012-01-25T16:09:00.001-08:00

Me only doing this because foodchik make me. Here is Puppy.

I am not mean like a snake, I've just been a really bad mood since the Striped Load and the Little Simple Cat moved in here. Here's the thing when they were little cats and acted up, I could step on them heads and they would smarten up. Well, mostly, the Little Simple Cat would fart when you step on his head. Still does. I'm not mean, I just don't want them stomping me while I nap so maybe I snarl a little bit.

Also, I neither enjoy nor like hork, I merely hork. And if it happens to make the Foodchik or the Medicine Chik hop around like maniacs that's pretty happy.

Peace, out!
Puppy D Cat

Nicknames

2012-01-24T15:22:00.000-08:00

I no foodchik have a real name, it is Shirla, and foodchik is her nick name. My nickname is Monkey, big Stripey's nickname is Roundini and Puppy's nickname is Snake cuz her mean like one.

You got a nickname? What is it?

Fings me didn't no

2012-01-22T16:59:00.001-08:00

Where has bacon been all my life? I no foodchik was not sharing because she wants it all for her big mooey self. But bacon is almost as tasty in my mouf as fitch. Almost, but not quite.

What is tastiest in your mouf? And keep it clean I only 7.

So It Winter

2012-01-21T14:50:00.000-08:00

again, and that mean her keep it cold enuf to hang meat in her, though because medicine chik is here and foodchik donut want her to freeze, her turn up the heet, a little. This means nobody can see they breath. You wouldn't call it warm. The good thing is that wif medicine chik here there are 4 hands to pet three cats so not so much with cat wars anymore. That just more betterester.

You know

2012-01-21T12:03:00.000-08:00

me would rather walk on me lips than criticize any of the big cats, but when big Stripey sits around the couch he sits around the whole entire couch. If it weren't for the fur, me would not no his butt from foodchiks. Odd. Very odd.

Foodchik hates hork

2012-01-21T10:10:00.000-08:00

Puppy the cat likes to hork stuff up for fun. Her very weerd that way. And kinda mooey.

Me Love Questions!

2012-01-21T10:08:00.000-08:00

Those big cats!
such poops.
Thank you for answering my questions...
was the new password poop?

Hi fren Evelyn,
The new password wasn't poop, I think it was Latin.

From Fren Evelyn

2012-01-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt,

How you teefery?

I think houses are cat gates.

What do you and the other cats think about this Occupy stuffies?

Happery Hollerdaysery!

E

Hi Evelyn,
Hi, how you? How you teef? my teefness would be better if food chik not change all the passwords on the reputer from FART to somping else.

I asked the big cats about this Occupy stuff, them say little cat if you don't unoccupy my spot on the couch I will step on your head. Them mean like snakes because heat is against food chik religion. Her odd and her moo!

Me Love Questions!

2012-01-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt
How you teef?
so even if she burn you some fitch, you wont eat it?!?
E

Hi fren E,
My teef grate how your teef? It depends on what the burnt tasty like, sometimes it tasty like mulch which I like sometimes like logs which I donut like.

have a happy day your friend, sharkbutt

Yay!

2012-01-17T12:16:00.001-08:00

Dear Sharkbutt,

I'm happy to see your words! how you teef?
Hey listen, if your Foodchik like sun, thats good. Otherwise maybe she be one of those new stylish vampires and I know those foodvamps suck blood. and I think cats have blood.
Linus, my kitty, says hi and his teef ok and Merry Hollerdays.

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
And Linus the kitty, how everybuddy's teef? Merry Hollerday though I know I'm late because foodchik a cow and her moo all over this reputer. Me fink foodvamps are goths gone horribly wrong or sumping.

Love the questions

2012-01-17T12:13:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt!
Is fish poo a cat delicacy?!?
My teef ok, but I messed up my shoulder wrestling a toddler in a fancy schmacy Boston restaurant. Her a cow and boy did she moo when I put her ass in time out.
LOVE
Friend Evelyn

Hi frend Evelyn,
How do you put her ass in time out? Does the rest of her get the time out too? Is toddler wrastling fun? Fish poo is fact of life more than delicacy, as foodchik put it fish shit in water. Her very much delicateness, sweetness and lights.

Have a happy day,
your fren,
Sharkbutt

MECIDINE CHIK!

2012-01-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Shark,

I believe that if you stop stepping on the ouchy parts of Medicine Chik's thigh, she may be inclined to help with the cooking :)

Hi Medicine Chik,
how you? How you teef? How your werk magic to get foodchik to put some heat on some of the time. you a magic medicine chik. Can you make us fitch?
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt

Fings cats donut really worry about

2011-12-30T08:28:00.001-08:00

"Me bark at them til they leave or I get baby gated."
I hate getting baby gated.

To cats baby gates are like hurdles, you know, like the couch, or the foodchik, I donut fink I would like it if I were stuck behind one.

Me Love Questions!

2011-12-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

Happee Hollerdays, then, fren Sharkbutt. How u teef? Me teef good.

Hey...what is figgy pooding? Is it like PIZZA! ? Or fitch?

Hi fren Bosco,
Me teef great, fangs. How you? How you food chik? To me figgy pudding looks like wet shiny mulch but me not sure what it tasty like. Sometimes me pretend me a bug and say I'm tastying fings with my feets.

Have a happy day, your friend, Sharkbutt

Oh foodchik, foodchik, foodchik

2011-12-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

Me understand that people not so much wif catching their food on the hoof and then eeting it raw. But foodchik so bad at cooking or as her call it "burning stuff" it very scary. Burnt takes all the taste out of it which is risgusting. Me want to tell her, foodchik, sit down somewhere and let me cook. But me a cat, have no thumbs and cannot really reach at a distance that would keep me from getting scorched.

Happy Hollerdays

2011-12-25T08:58:00.000-08:00

me call them Happy Hollerdays, because it's the day that foodchik no holler at us.

Sometimes I hides

2011-12-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

foodchik has frenz and some of them frenz are kid people, when they come me practice to join the CIA and be a spy. Me like kids they much more interesting than the old slow ones, but them make sudden moves and me startle easy and foodchik say even though them move fast like snacks them not snaks and me not allowed to chase them down. So Medicine chik bringed her kids to visick and them hung out with big Stripey and Puppy D, them seem very nice, Lego dude and Moustache girl. Me were happy to see them but me needed a rest.

Me love questions

2011-12-23T10:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Sharkbutt, how you? how you teef? I have a question for you. Why do cats hork so much? thanks, your friend Molleek.

Hi Molleek, HOw you? How you teef? me great, me teef great, fangs. Why cats hork so mutch is a rinteresting question. Some cats, like Puppy the Orange hork because they mean like a snake. Other cats like Stripee the Massive horks because it gives him something to do between watching tv and trying to lick him own head. Mostly cats horks so mutch because we groom ourselves by licking, and fur sticks to our tongues and we eat it, but it not high in fiber so it don't move or digest so much, so it's gotta come up. oh and also, because foodchiks and fooddudes shoes get lonely when them not home and a little hork makes them nice.

Have a happy day,
your friend,
sharkbutt

Perhaps Me Have Mentioned

2011-12-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

that foodchik shoots our medicine up her noses and into her hears. So we have a medicine chik now. Her very good at petting and giving Puppy medicine, her a hot festival of skin mess. Puppy not the medicine chik.

Me love questions

2011-12-21T16:10:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt

what does fitch poo smell like?

Evelyn

EVELYN, Hi friend, this great question, and me seent it so long ago me almost forget the answer when foodchik brake the reputer. Her a cow and her moo. Fish poo smelp like water, it taste like water too.

how you? how you teef?

have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

So

2011-12-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

where were we? foodchik break the reputer...again!
Dude came to fix, then other dude came to fix, then her uploading pictures and her run her mouf. So that where we at. Today is winter solstice, which means the least sunlighty day of the year. And it rained all day so not a lot of sunlight which makes foodchik cranky and every body cranky when foodchik cranky.

It odd

2011-10-09T06:38:00.001-07:00

foodchik always go where fitch live, her never bring back any fitch, though her always smelp of fitch poo. Her very weird. Sometime her happy, sometime her not, all the time her mooey. But lately her so happy me refraid her have a refrigerator full of fitch that her eating when me asleep. Me going to have to sit on her head and talk in her hears to find out what is up.

Me love questions

2011-10-04T03:20:00.001-07:00

Sharkbutt,
How you teef?
Today my daughter asked a very good cat question.
How do cats pick their noses?
I dont know what inspired this question. No one in this house certainly ever picks their nose.
Nope. Never.

Evelyn

Hi fren Evelyn,
How you? How you teef? My teef great fangs.
Your daughter is very smart and asks good questions.
Cats donut pick their noses mutch but when them do, they use they tongue because claws too sharp and teef donut reach.
Have a happy day, your fren,
Sharkbutt

PS: FAngs very mutch for asking me questions. I love questions.

Why?

2011-10-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Is foodchik so mooey?

I get this question a lot, so me asked the big cats, and me asked foodchik why her so mooey. Puppy says foodchik so mooey because before we had knownt her, her got hit in the head alot. Me fink her fell on her head because her like that. Stripey says it because her no have a tail and cannot lick her butt. Foodchik just says moo and oink.

Foodchik, We have to talk

2011-09-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I sit on foodchik head, it very large so there is enough room for me to sit and talk into her hears. I do this when I concerned about something, her always listen and usually then her say something wise.
So I said foodchik, rememory how you told me that I would be the baby cat until I was 5, now I 7 and I still the baby cat. Did you forget? Or do you not like new baby cats?

Her said, Sharkbutt, I just like you being the baby cat so much that I didn't think we needed a new baby cat. Do you think we need a new baby cat? I said no, foodchik, we donut. And her said that's what me think too.

I happy now.

Me Love questions!

2011-09-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

Sharkbuttocks,

How you teef? Mine rock!

Hey listen, Foodchik is right, Halloween is like condoned begging and teenagers just come to the door not even dressed up. Such crapola. I mean if you want to give out candy, go ahead, but I think its silly. Halloween is about scary stuff and spirits and demons and souls and monsters, not the newest Disney Princess costume and a sugar filled plastic pumpkin.

Evelyn

P.S.(Linus says how you teef? His are sore, but he said he is enjoying the tunee fitch juice I give him twice a week.)

Hi Fren Evelyn,
Me great fangs, me teef good too fangs. Where you get tuneefitchjuice to give to Linus from? Do you use a juicer?

Halloween is just weird, the last few years foodchik has been giving out prunes, you no them things that look like dog brains? She thinks she's funny. But she misses the prunes once her give them away with her odd mooey self.

Have a happy day, your fren, sharkbutt.

Foodchik on the warpath

2011-09-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

Her made fitch (shhhh, be quiet) big cats donut no. And it just smelped like it would be so tasty in my mouth that I hopped onto the counter to smelp it with my nose and I landed on her avocado and breaked it. Her still yelling.

Oh no me being confusing again.

2011-09-19T17:44:00.000-07:00

Sharkbutt

How you teef?
WHAT?
I think I need you to tell me this story again because Why is Stripey being so mean? Why does your butt taste like a snake?? And most scary, why does Foodchik know what your BUTT tastes like?!?!?
My teef are good, but Linus lost a front teef. He not remused, but seems to still eat and poo.
fangs for always answering questions.
Evelyn

Hi fren, Evelyn, Fangs to you for asking me questions. It too hard to be a cat and make all of this stuff up. Stripey not mean, him think him funny. Puppy, she mean. Me not sure why, me fink because her a cow and her moo. Foodchik knows a lot of stuff but her donut no what my butt tasty like. Big Puppy does because when me were a little cat her helped me with that. That waas before her turned mean like a snake. Me sorry to hear that Linus lost a front teef, him so not remused, I know. Glad him still eat and poo. Glad you teef good. That happy,
your fren,
Sharkbutt

It got worse

2011-09-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

so yesterday Puppy got pizza stuff spilled on her, then big Stripey stomped on her and said look, I'm a bug and I'm tastying you wif my feet. She growled like her do (her growl like foodchik say moo) then she smacked him in the neck and stepped on him head and say you don't tasty like a bug you tasty like Sharkbutt's butt. Her mean like a snake, even foodchik thinks so.

tomato sauce

2011-09-18T16:36:00.001-07:00

Foodchik thinks she can cook, but I got news. That'd be no. Not even close. She spilled cheese and tomato sauce on Puppy (it's best you donut ask) so now Stripey and me call Puppy pizza cat and her totally not remused.

Maybe...

2011-09-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

Sharkbutt!

Linus is an old man. So his teef are not the best. He is orange, like Stripey.
I think maybe I'm salty.
Dont cats like salt? Its like kisses except his breath smells like poo a lot so...

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
How you? How you teef? Linus is orange and old like Puppy D, and foodchik too. You prolly salty on you eyes. Cats mostly like salt, but our food is so salty that foodchik eat it instead of popcorn. But it salty so Stripey doesn't forget how to pee. Him simple like a box of hair.
Have a happy day,
your frend,
Sharkbutt

Are Her Kidding Me?

2011-09-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

Sharkbutt!

How you? How you foodchik and you teef? Hey listen, whats wrong with saving a little on heat? Doesnt your fur act as a fur coat? And it brings you and the other kitties together! Nice and warm. I like it a little chilly because it makes my kitty, Linus come and lay with us. And he licks under my eyes. I wonder why.

Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,
I good, my foodchik are a loon. My teef great fangs, how you teef? Nothing wrong wif saving a little on heat, but her keep it at 60 in here in the wintery time with a window opened and freezy cold outside so that not saving a li'l on heat that's just resane. How is Linus? How is him teef? Him prolly lick under your eyes to taste them. Have a happy day, your frend Sharkbutt

This isn't likely to end well

2011-09-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I have perhaps mentioned that foodchik go where fitch live all the time. And her did this morning because that what her do, get up when it the dark time and take her mooey butt to the beach (that one place where fitch live) and take pictures. Well, today her made her espresso coffee stuff that give her personalities and what not, but her forget it on the counter, because her mooey and has the attention span of a grape nut (which are the mooiest food on earth). Me fink me will hide her keys to see her twitch.

Interesting question

2011-09-11T14:55:00.001-07:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt. It's me, fren Bosco. How u teef? me teefs gud.

Sometimes me drink lot of wadder frum my bowl all at once, and then me barf. Me tell my foodchick me making the libbing room into oceanfront properdy, but she just go "eww gross" and complain about no more paper towelz.

So me haff kestion. Which do you fink is ewwy-er...dog barf or Kevin Yooklis? Me think is definitely Kevin Yooklis.

Hi fren Bosco! My teef great fangs. Glad yours gud too. How you foodchik?

Hmm, I not sure which I fink is ewwyer. Dog barf might be worse because you donut feel too good when you do it and that's always yuck.

A most excellent question

2011-09-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sharkbutt

I'm famous!!
On your blog!
Yay!
This is not mooey.
What is the opposite of mooey?

Evelyn,
I glad you famous!! Foodchik just notorious, and her smelp like poultry but me digress. This is a most excellent question and to me the opposite of mooey is fitchy because fitch is the best thing ever. But then so are pets from the foodchik if I'm rupset. When foodchik give us fitch her are more betterester so I'm thinking that more betterester is the opposite of mooey. Like when foodchiks and fooddudes ask me questions it more betterester.

Another question makes me smile

2011-09-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

"And me made foodchik promise me that I can be the baby cat for a while still."

Sharkbutt
So sweet
I knew you were a softie.
Do you and the other cats leave Foodchik other kinds of surprises and presents?
Thank you for answering questions.

Evelyn,
Fang you so mutch for asking me questions. I'm a cat, I don't get out mutch, so it hard for me to think up stuff to say in my blog.
The big cats leave her presents, hork for the most part. I donut know what it really called, I know that what foodchik called it. And sometimes we catch a mouse presink and play with it and it dies, so we put it in one of her shoes. Her always happy about that. hahahahahahahah.

2011-09-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

Sharkbutt
How you teef?!?!?
Mine sparkly good.
Do cats have cliques?
I only wonder because your foodchik say you run in social circles!

Hi Fren Evelyn,
My teef are great fangs. And I glad to hear yours are sparkly good.
Cats donut have cliques, we make cliques. And me fink when foodchik say we run in social circles that because we able to run and talk at the same time. Her cannot because her very mooey.

Fren Boscoooo!!

2011-09-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt. How you teef? me teef gud.

Me dun like sponges cos they make me think a baff is coming and me hate baffs.

Do my foodchick think me am a otter sometimes or what?

Hi fren Bosco,
Me so glad your teef good and you good! I see what you mean about sponges, if foodchik ever came at me wif a sponge for a baff I would twitch, you know, more than I do now. Your foodchik might fink you a otter or that you like a baff like her like a baff, foodchiks odd with the mooey baff liking stuff.

Have a happy day!
your fren,
sharkbutt

I Love Questions!!!

2011-09-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

How you teef?
I love spongebob.
Who is your favorite character?

My teef great fangs!
I like to watch spongebob because him have friends who are fitch. But my favorite is the Brain from Pinky and the Brain. (foodchik is Pinky - one is a genius the other's insane. kinda fits right?)

Yay Another Question

2011-09-05T17:28:00.001-07:00

Shark butt
how you? how you teef? Mine good.
What's a normal amount to read?
I read a lot for a foodchik too.

Hi Evelyn,
I great fangs. My teef also. glad to hear your teef good.
A normal amount to read for a foodchik is one book at a time not 5. If you read fast you can read a whole lot, but reading more than one at a time confuses even me. Though I did read 2 books about fitch once. A Perfect Storm and One Fitch Two Fitch. They were good.
Have a happy day,
your fiend,
sharkbutt

Wow, ya'll eat some weird stuff

2011-09-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

I know that foodchik is odd, and mooey and eat all kinds of stuff that would give me nightmares if I ate it. Sometimes I sit on her head and ask her questions, like foodchik, why you eat trees? And her says sharkbutt, them not trees them broccoli or asparagus. To me they look like trees. So then me ask foodchik why you eat fings that look like trees. And here will say they are good for my heart and my teef. Well that ok. Even though I not entirely convinced foodchik have a heart. I know her have some teef.

Hello Friend Evelyn!!!

2011-09-05T03:41:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been walking around for two days saying "Hi! How you teef?"
Is that ok if we arent cats?
Because we think its the best greeting EVER.

Hi Evelyn,
how you? How you teef? Thank you so much for writing me a question, I loves to answer questions, because I get to make foodchik type and correct her spelping because she is mooey. Yes, yes, of course you can say hi! how you teef? Its just the best friendliest greeting, don't you think?
have a happy day,
your friend,
Sharkbutt!

I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!!

2011-07-25T17:44:00.001-07:00

It Aunt Grandma's birthday so foodchik got us some birthday shrimp today. It is deliciousness and makes my mouth smile and sing with happiness. Even though she makes me crazy with craziness, she is the best foodchik ever. She cooks tasty shrimp and cuts it up very nice to make a shrimp snack for me. Oh and the big cats who are cows and they moo.

These Cats

2011-07-22T05:05:00.000-07:00

are working my very last nerve. Old cats like old foodchiks are moody and cranky and could do well with a little bite on the ear to straighten out their attitude. They are all cows and they moo. And it smells like cow shit in here.

Do you like where fitch live?

2011-07-09T07:10:00.001-07:00

because my foodchik is obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with fish (that doesn't look right, fitch looks right). They can live wherever they live. It should be in my mouth.

But I digress, if you like pictures of where fitch live or the sun or the moon (I hope it's not her butt)

Foodchik takes pictures

Do you like where fitch live?

2011-07-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Fren Bosco

2011-07-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

Fireblossom said...
it sound the terribleness.

July 6, 2011 6:58:00 PM PDT

Fren Bosco, How you? How you teef? How you foodchik. It sound the terribleness Cuz it is. Her are risgusting wif what her try to cook. And her moo. I donut no how her can eet that, the big cats think it migh tbe the same stuff her put in our poo box. ICK!
Have a happy day,
your fren, Sharkbutt

Oh good her making quinoa again

2011-07-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

like it might scar her or something to make fitch instead of quinoa, or fitch instead of chicken or fitch instead of spanokopita and don't think anyone getting fancy her get all this mess from Trader Joe's and her pretend them donut sell the fitch. Her a big mooey liar.

Quinoa look like worm eggs or sumping. Her weird and her moo. Fool.

Oh Fresh Hell

2011-07-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Her is trying to be vegetable-arian again, here's how this will go. Her will be vegetable-arian for a day, maybe 2 then her will get tired of all the farting and her will finally get tired of blaming Big Stripey for all the farts. And me will sit on her head and whisper in her hears about cheeseburgers and by Thursday this nonsense will stop again. Now if we could only get her to be a fishatarian.

Happy 4th of July. Shoot your fireworks somewhere else.

Her are truly shameless

2011-06-28T18:04:00.001-07:00

We have discussed how her always going to where fitch live and never bringing back any fitch. Her take a million bazillion pictures of where fitch live. Maybe me mention it a time or two. Down at this place, them sell her pictures of where fitch live.

Her want people to buy them - don't. Buy other stuff from there Idiosyncrazies

Or do buy them if you want to then maybe her will spring for some fitch.

food is odd

2011-06-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, her have a bagel wif butter and that is very tasty to my mouth, but other times her have it wif almond butter and it's risgusting. Where can we get fitch butter?

Fitch!

2011-06-12T05:01:00.001-07:00

Yay, she made fitch for us, but she used hot sauced on it, which the big cats think is risgusting, but it just means more for me. I really donut think that buffalos taste like that.

I had a thought

2011-05-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

so I sat on foodchiks head and talked in her hears and I said foodchik, you no how you like to take pictures of where fitch live and she said yes. I said foodchik do you think other people maybe donut live as close to where fitch live as us and might like to see pictures of that? And her said Sharkbutt you are a genius. And I said foodchik you are right I am a genius but think how much more genius I would be if you gave me fitch for brain food.

I had words

2011-05-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

wif the foodchik, she came back from where fitch live which is where she go all the time now to be mooey and odd. But brings back no fitch. ever. so today me smelped fitch on her person and I sat on her head and said foodchik what up that you smelp like you were visiting with fish. Her said sharkbutt me was talking to guys that catch fitch. and one of them shaked my hand, he must have been baiting the hook to catch the fitch. So me say foodchik, what you mean by bait? And her telled me that if you want to catch fitch you put baits on the hook which will make the fitch think that it's not a hook and you can catch them. So then I said foodchik did you catch me with bait, and her said no. Then I asked foodchik did I catch you with bait and her said no. We will discuss that soon.

Excellent Question from My deer Friend Bosco

2011-05-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

Me have kestion, fren Sharkbutt...you knows all about where fitch live. I want to know, where does bacon live? I searched my foodchick's reputer and no pix of bacon. What I need to do to find some?

Hi Bosco,
that is a most excellent question and looking at my foodchik I'm thinking that she probably ate a whole bacon. But I did what I do when I want to know stuff, I sit on her head and talked in her hears and asked her. What she says is that bacon, cat litter, yogurt, fitch and blueberry muffins go to the grossery store for foodchiks and fooddudes to buy. She says that involves money and I should not eat hers anymore. So if you go to the grossery store and go to where they keep stuff cold but not frozen like foodchik keeps it in the house all the time with the cold, but I digress. You will find bacon, probably by eggs (whatever they are) and crescent rolls and poisony orange juice (it not really poisony - it's just risgusting)

Mystified

2011-05-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Foodchik mystifies me, a lot. Me looked at this reputer, and her have 90 gazillion million pictures of where fitch live on here, but you think she would take a picture of a fitch or a couple two three fitch? NO, her a cow. and her moo!

I back

2011-05-04T17:46:00.001-07:00

a while since I've been writing in my blog. The foodchik is very very strange she goes to wear fitch live in the darktime in the morning and then right before dark time at the night. Does she bring any fitch home? No! Never any fitch for me and big stripey and big orangey. Her a cow and her moo.

yay!

2010-11-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

No eat furrynesses? You don't eet mice? Or do you make giffs of them to foodchick and leave dem in her bed or her shoos?

Hi fren Bosco,
I donut eet mice, me just play wif them and sometimes them ded while we playing. and me put them in foodchik shoes. If fitch had fur me would still eet them because them make me mouf smile with happinesses.

your fren,
sharkbutt

Prunes!

2010-11-06T15:41:00.001-07:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt! Me teef great, fanks.

Proons sound weird. Sort of like an anti-pizza. Sometimes foodchick eat antipasto, but not anti-pizza. She say prunes look like, well, like something I dun got anymore.

Bye for now,

yor pal Bosco!

Hi Fren Bosco,
me glad you teef great. proons very weird. them look like brains maybe of fitch but are sweet like candy. Oh yeah and they look maybeish them things we no got anymore, but ours were furry and if proons furry you no should eet them.

have a happy day,
your fren,
sharkbutt

Yay friend Bosco

2010-11-05T18:22:00.000-07:00

My foodchick gaved out nuffink. She keeped it all for me!

How u teef???

fren bosco!
if her give out prunes let her give them away, they like purple zombie kitten brains and make you fart.

my teef great, how you teef?
have a happy mooey day,
your friend,
sharkbutt

Her so evil

2010-10-31T17:24:00.002-07:00

today is tricky or treat. And people ring the bell and her say cats, hide, might be the caterer. Me donut no what that mean. Her gived kids prunes until her ran out, then her gave someone my tunee fitch. Her are evil and a wretch.

Her Must Think

2010-08-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

me stoopid or sumping. Me said foodchik, why we not ever get any fitch in this houst to eat? Her said sharkbutt, I donut (me keep trying to splain her about pronouns but her just use the amature nouns) get you cats fitch because when big stripey has too much of it him make rocks in him bladder and then him cannot pee. Come on do me look stupid? That's the biggest bunch of nonsense me ever hear. How him make rocks? If him could make rocks him would throw them in the water and make the fitch jump out.

Yay!

2010-08-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

Fren Sharkbutt! Hooray! Me teef the goodness and me foodchick's teef also good enuf for govt werk, that wut she says a lot.

Her sucky thing sucked up my raccoon toy and her were pulling it out of the end, I think she kilt it. It lying in the hallway not looking so goodness.

Me happy to heer from you!!!

fren Bosco!

Hi Bosco,
Me happiness you teef good and you food chik teef good too. foodchik say close enuf for govinment work a lot too. me donut no why. except that her odd.

sometime when the giant sucker thing suck up you toys them can get better if you put them in the water dish for a while. that what me do. then me put it in one of her big shoes to dryness.

Donut cry fren Bosco

2010-08-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

fren Sharkbutt, why you not tawking to me no more?

*dog tears*

yor fren Bosco

Fren Bosco, her were fixing the reputer, because you know her mooey odd self braked it. me fink her zapped the plugger in thing with the giant sucker fing that me hate because it makes noises all the time and eats my toys.

So me had a chat wif her about fings. Me said foodchik, me need to talk. Her said, sharkbutt what you want to talk about. Me said foodchik the giant sucker thing eats my toys and me refraid it will eat my tail if me not careful. And foodchik why you go where fitch live and no bring us any? Her said sharkbutt me would never let the giant sucker fing get your tails and me will work on it not eating any more of your toys. Me donut get you fitch from where them live because only the shellfish live there and move slow enuf for me to catch and me rellergic to thems.

SO fren bosco, me sorry to not talk t you for a while. donut cry. How you teef? How you foodchik? how her teef? what new? you tiger baseball dudes winning anyfing. our yankee dudes not so good this week. foodchik say WTF a lot. me think one of them words are robscenes. her use a lot of gutter invective according to aunt grandma.

have a happy day your fren, sharkbutt

Soooo

2010-07-31T18:03:00.000-07:00

her went to wear fitch live and do her bring back any fitch? No, her bring me a picture of a sea pigeon. What me gonna do with that? Me sneezed on it.

Yay Friend Bosco!!!

2010-06-14T17:42:00.001-07:00

Her got to stop wif the salty languidge cos the the fitch think they going to get made into sardines. She got to just sit on da beech wif mouf open and let the fitch jump in. Then she just got to shut up til she get home and gib them to you!

I donut no that her can shut up. Her either talking, mooing or snorping. Someday her will bring me fitch, me believe it.

Ept? Inept

2010-06-13T12:58:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking her are inept. Her been to where fitch live, because her come home with sandy feet, and her smell of salt and water which is where the big fitch live. Tuna (my favorite), sharks (like what I'm named after) and dolphins (which is what her took pictures of). I was sitting on her head and licking her head to make her tell me things. And I asked her - foodchik why you can take pictures of the fitch but not catch any? Her said - sharkbutt, me not very good at catching stuff. especially slippery stuff like fitch.

Icy cold mooey foodchik

2010-06-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

Her cannot take too much heat, me get that. But it should not have to be freezy cold with all the fans on all the time. Her have one that blew so hard it made me fall off the bed while me were dreaming of fitch. Me were not remused.

Kestion!!!!

2010-05-22T16:33:00.000-07:00

Um...can u cook fitch inside a kettle bell, if you put it on the stove??

No, fitch well not fit, it full of heavy metal like her head.

It not enough with the ice and the mooey

2010-05-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

Have we discussed the kettlebells? Her have 6 of them, only one of them weighs less than me. Any way her bought a new one, it 40 lbs and her spraint her wrist wif it, because her simple like a rock. But her spraint her petting wrist wif it. We not remused.

YAY A KESTION FROM FRIEND BOSCO!!!

2010-05-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

ooo, dis sound worseness than the ice in bed.

Sharkbutt, me haff kestion. Me want know why my foodchick rather largeness compared to me, but me always win tugga war? Is foodchik armz made of spaghetti noodles or wut?

Hi friend, Bosco,
It much worseness than ice in the bed. her have enough ice to cover her whole mooey self from her feets hup to her chins, front and back. it skeery. Fangs for asking me a kestion, me love them. HEre what me fink, you have center of gravity, foodchiks have center of gravity - you very smartness, you walk on four feet, them not so much wif the smart, so them walk on two feet. your center of gravity are prolly about 2 feets below them, so you will have stronger pullingness. that why. have a happy day, your friend sharkbutt

It's no wonder her has lost her mind

2010-05-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

we listen to the baseballs on the radio but her watch aikido videos. It two completely different things. It makes me confused and me are mutch smarter than her. So look them up on you tube. Aikido techniques. And put baseballs on your tv and feel the crazy in your head. then you know what i'm dealing with with the foodchik and her crazyness.

Wif the ICe and the Mooey

2010-05-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Her managed to mess up the reputer, or the router, or the modem. Me donut no, her make me resane. THe big cats make me resane. Me loves baseball. Me loves foodchik, her are silly and all of the time with the ice packs.

Kestion from Fren Bosco

2010-03-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt! It's me, fren Bosco! me teef the goodness, fanks for axing.

Me got kestion! Me see wen foodchick watching the terriblevision, that there are people called the Teapardy who say they are a badroots movemint. They interveew two hoomin ladies and me unnerstand why they call dem badroots, but me donut noe wut those hoomins are trying to do. If me make dat much noize over nuffing, foodchik make me stop and say no more being in the window, Bosco! But the Teepardy hoomins do it and no one swat they butts wif a newspaper and me want to noe why.

Hi Bosco,
Fangs for asking me a kestion. ME love kestions. Me donut no what these teapardy peeple are about but me fink them are nutmentations, and them run with that Sara Pale End. If foodchik make that much noises me would have to like her head until her not quike so loudness any more.

Her maked pizza today. me couldn't beleeb it. her said her maked it from stratch but me didn't catch her stratching herself. so me donut no what that about. her odd and her moo.

It good to have frens.

2010-03-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

Fren Sharkbutt!!!!!! You are the backness! YAYYYYYYYYY

Hi Fren Bosco, how you? how you teef? me and me teef all frozen with the icey. her sleeping wif ice. Her like a moo-sicle. Me still funny.

Hope you good and you teef good,
you got any questions?
have a happy day,

your friend,
sharkbutt

ME BACK

2010-03-24T04:54:00.000-07:00

Her a cow and her moo. And her hell on the router. And her forget codey things. But me back and it springy here and the snacks are springing around on the grasses outside.

How you? How you teef?

Guest Post

2010-03-24T04:52:00.000-07:00

Hello, How are you? How are your teeth? (hang on while I discuss with Mr. Shark J Butt that if I'm writing this I'm spelling it my way)

Ok, that's done, Shark Butt wants me to apologize for his prolonged absence, it's Springy here and he's been fascinated by the birds, squirrels and other varmints - snacks in his parlance that he's viewing out the window. Also, some dumb ass (that'd be me) messed up the wireless connection and he's been unable to access the world.

He will be back up to speed soon and is grateful for your concern.

And when me fink fings couldn't be

2010-02-25T17:37:00.001-08:00

more rinteresting. Her catched the oven on fire, then her with the coughing all the time with the coughing. So her went back to the doctor and her got somefing that maked her stupider then usual. Me glad them medicines are temporary until her get better becauuse if her were permanently stupid me would have to be in charge and me don't have the visa card.

Fren Bosco! Yay!

2010-02-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt! How you teef? me teef the goodness, fank you.

Me foodchick want to ask if there was any firechicks. She seem to fink dis a big intershtink thing. I hope she dun start no fire just to attrack firechicks.

Hi Fren, how you? Me teef most rexcellenk. fangs.

There were no firechiks just firedudes. And them were young enough to be her kids. her so simple. like cheese.

Should Not Be Surprised

2010-02-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

Foodchik not so good with the cooking. The other day her was making some lunch in the oven and fings got smokey, very smokey and the relarms went off. And when the relarms go off somebody (not me) poo'd on the rug. Then the police come, and some firedudes, then some firedudes wif the truck. The fire was out but them opened lots of windows to let the smoke out and the cold in. Her are a hot mess of mooey. Everybody ok, but her a simple one.

Hi Fren Bosco!!

2010-02-16T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt, how you teef? me teef the goodness fanks.

Maybe year of the tiger mean my foodchik's baseball men do the goodness this time.

Foodchick say dat fat baby named Cupid. She say if she get her hands on him, she ring his dumbazz liddle neck. Me not noe why she not liking Cupid cos most times she like fat babies.

We had PIZZA! today!!!!!!

Yor fren,

Bosco!

Hi fren Bosco,
Me glad you teef goodness and me glad you got to have the pizza. Fat baby name cupid that a crazy name. Him sound like a evil fat baby. Me him eat faces or somefing.

Foodchik is coughing and mooey.

Have a happy day, your fren, Sharkbutt

Tomorrow

2010-02-16T15:59:00.001-08:00

the pitcher and catcher dudes report to work for the baseballs in Florida where it not freezy cold like her keep it in this house all the time with the freezy cold her is. Foodchik loves the baseballs and we watch it all the time and her snorp and moo. So it will be baseballs soonly. and then it will be springy and then it might get warm in here sometimes.

Tashi Delek

2010-02-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

and Happy New Year, it is Tibetan New Year - the year is 2137 which me fink is older than foodchik but probably not by mutch. And it the year of the Iron Tiger, which sounds good to me since iron is strong and tigers is cats.

Oh it, valentine's day too. Me hear there was a big massacre in Chicago, but me not sure what that fat red baby wif the bow and arrow have to do wif anyting, maybe he can catch a snack.

Bless her evil little heart

2010-02-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

Her made us fitch snax from scratch. Her is the best foodchik ever. The fitch snax make my mouf moo with happiness.

Me Love a Kwestion from Fren Bosco!!

2010-02-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt, why them wear laundry on they naked pink selfs? Maybe if they stopped, they would grow the furriness like normal?

yor pal,

Bosco

Deer Bosco,
this a most rexellent kwestion, but me donut no why them wear laundry on them nekkid selfs so me ast foodchik. Me was licking her head which make it rimpossible for her to lie. And her say, sharkbutt, me not water repellent and me get cold and me tried to grow the fur but me pathetic. (me don't know what that mean rezactly but me fink it mean her repel everyfing but water and cold.) So that what me fink.

your fren,
sharkbutt

Good Lord Glory

2010-02-10T11:02:00.000-08:00

Yes, me no me being raised Buddhist but what else me say. It snowing again. It a blizzard warning again. Foodchik go out and then her come back in looking like the rebominable snowchik. It weird. And there no grass for her mooey self to eat. Me refraid her will eet my food cuz usually her have bags of grasses in the frerigerator for her to eet (and moo and usually fart some too) So her sitting here looking all kinds of mooey and melting. And her talking about laundry because her are robsessed wif laundry. me fink it because her Irish and them people like the laundry and the grass and the mooey.

Him Got My Butt

2010-02-07T17:47:00.001-08:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt. Itsh me, Bosco! How you teefs? Me teefs the goodness. Me reeding deez posts. Me fink if you want, me help you kick some sherious butt. Me can shmelp stuff a mile away, but me no help nobody what call you anyfing. me bite dem. Jest say the werd. Me got you butt. Hoomins say "back", but dat wrong. Me got you butt.

yor fren,

Bosco!

Hi frend Bosco, fang you so mutch. Me no you got my butt, me fink these two cats are just feeling meanish because foodchik like me da best. hahahaha.

your fren,
Sharkbutt

Fool

2010-02-07T17:20:00.000-08:00

Sharkbutt,
we fink we missing the foodchik that why we wanna know what her smelp like so we can find her. what her smelp like?
Puppy D

Puppy D,
you mean like a snake. donut call me fool, you the one cant remember what foodchik smelp like and you can't spelp neither. me teld you her smelp like tiger balm and broccoli and maybe some mulch. ass tooth old fool. you and big stripey couldn't find your buttocks without road maps. stupick and evil old fool.
bite a fart,
sharkbutt

Me Love Kwestions

2010-02-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

Deer Sharkbutt,
Me trying to find me foodchik. What yours smelp like?
Your fren,
Puppy D

Puppy D,
we mortal enemies, why you writing me? and you no foodchik longer then me? you forget what her smelp like? you mooey too. to me foodchik smelp like tiger balm and broccoli and moo.
have a happy day,
your arch enemy,
sharkbutt

Hello

2010-02-07T17:16:00.000-08:00

Lil cutie Sharkbutt, this is a grape, I mean great, post. It had me laughing out loud. I am glad that you and Bosco have become such good buds.

xox

SBFC

Hi Shay Boscos foodchik, how you? how you teef? Me glad it have you lauging out loud, me like to make laughing. Bosco a good friend and nos a lot of stuff.
Have a happy day, yor fren
sharkbutt

Fren Bosco Very Smart

2010-02-07T04:41:00.000-08:00

Me say already about wut karma is in last post, but she maybe think if you leave the karma out it go bad, but that not the truthness. Mouses are just toyz for cats. Like tree rats are toyz for dogz. You catch dem, wut else you do wif one? Frame dem? Try gibbing your foodchick her own ded mouse, then maybe she runderstand.

Hi fren,
you no, we gived her the mousy. Her culd have played wif it. Her culd have dyed it blue. But me culd tell her felt bad. Her soft like a grape. And her no got the sense God gave a grape either. And her moo. Me wonder if grapes can moo. Hmm, any way, we got lots and lots of snow on the outside and her keep it cold like outside in here, what her fink we homesick for outside? her the only one ever want to go outside. Probally to moo around in the grass. hahahaha. me funny, her moo around in the grasses.

have a happy day,
your fren,
sharkbutt

Oh man, her talk so much

2010-02-02T16:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes me fink her talk just to hear her mouf go. FIrst her say we should be good to mousies, we play wif them, sometimes them die. Nobody fault nobody being mean. Maybe just clumsy, you no. So her was going on and on about how we gonna have bad karmas and stuff. We cats, her go to work, we stay here and sleep. Really, how bad our karma get?

Yay!!!! Questions!!!

2010-02-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

Hi fren Sharkbutt! Ish me again. How you teef? me teef the goodness, fanks.

Me has question. What are reposable fumbs? Me got dew claws, are that the same fing?

Dear fren Bosco,
How you? Me teef good, fanks. Reposable fumbs are rinteresting fings. Them are good for opening the food cans and catching fitch. Dew claws not the same fing, reposable fumbs have more rangy of motion than dew claws. And them can be grippier then dew claws is. Sorry me answer not better.

Me have a kwestion for you. What karma is? Foodchik was talking at us about karma and mousies. Me sure her going to do it again.

Yay Bosco!

2010-01-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

Hi, fren Sharkbutt! Fank you for askering my question! Me fink my foodchick turning into a sloff. She gots time off and she practicing lazies. She got all her toez but me still fink she turnink into free-toed sloff. Wat is the bestest way to get a sloff to order PIZZA! ?

Hi fren Bosco, fank you for asking me kestions, me love kestions. Me not sure what a sloff is but it sound kinda mooey. Me fink you might want to say foodchik (me donut fink her will no what you talking about if you call her sloff and her might get rupset if her fink you being mean) foodchik, me heers you can odor pizza on the reputer, what say we try dat. Then if you can rememorize how her do that, then you could maybe lern how to odor youself pizza.

good luck,
have a happy day,
your friend sharkbutt

Fren Bosco! Yay!!!

2010-01-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

oOo. Hi fren Sharkbutt, itsh me, Bosco! How you teef? Me teef the goodness. Me finkin' seals bark and seals catch lots of fitch! if you foodchick turns part seal she maybe cood catch fitch for you! Does you fink she becoming seal?

Hi fren Bosco,
Me teef good, me glad you teef good. Happy new year. me been watching, her has not turned into a barky seal yet. her still mooey and simple like a mooey cow.

Happy New Year

2010-01-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

What new wif you? Foodchik got these new things called kettlebells, them are large but them are not mooey, and them have handles. ME will make the foodchik photygrap them soonly. Her is coughing and mooey. Good fings about her being coughing and mooey is that we go to bed early but the bad fing is me get sleeping on her large mooing self and then her barky coughs like a dog. It's distrubbing. And loud.